Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo

Synopsis: Deuce Bigalow is a less than attractive, down on his luck aquarium cleaner. One day he runs into a male gigolo who asks him to look after his precious fish while he is away on business. However, he wrecks the house and needs quick money to repair it. The only way he can make it is to become a gigolo himself, taking on an unusual mix of female clients. He encounters a couple of problems, though. He falls in love with one of his unusual clients, and a sleazy police officer his hot on his trail.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Mike Mitchell
Production: Happy Madison Productions
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.7
Metacritic:
30
Rotten Tomatoes:
23%
R
Year:
1999
88 min
Website
316 Views

[Customers Complaining]

I guess I'll just take

some sea snails.

You better get me some

from the colder tank.

[Clicks, Whirrs]

[Man Calling Race]

[Clicks, Whirrs]

% ["Strangers in The Night"]

[Moaning, Sighing]

- [Woman] Oh, yes! Oh!

- [Doorbell Rings]

[Man On TV] I've been bad.

I've been really bad.

-[Hand Swatting]

-[Moaning Continues]

- [Clicking Frantically]

- [Man] But it was worth it.

Hi. Would you like to buy

some Girls of America cookies?

- [Man On TV] Don't hit me with that.

- Could you come back later?

- [Swat]

- [Man] Ohh!

- Eew. What are you watching?

- [Moaning]

- You're gross!

You're a sick man,

and I'm gonna tell!

- [Man On TV] Hit me with it again.

- How much?

[Groaning]

Great.

[Electricity Crackling]

[Gasping]

[Grunting]

[Grunting, Panting]

[Phone Ringing]

[On Answering Machine]

Hey, Deuce, it's Antoine.

I just realized

I don't know you that well.

To be honest,

it's freaking me out a little.

You just make sure you keep

my apartment clean or you will die.

- Bye-bye.

- [Answering Machine Beeps]

Oh! Oh!

Aah!

- Six thousand dollars?

- I know. It sucks.

Neil, where am I going

to get $6,000 in three weeks?

I don't know your budget.

You may not want to...

blow your whole wad

on this tank.

I would.

- Can I pay in installments?

- No.

I'm up to my bicep in it,

if you know what I mean.

I'm not trying to flip you over

and do you dry here.

Look, squat on it

for a night...

and let me know.

[Ringing]

- What? Hello?

- [Woman] Hi.

I've been staring

at your number for hours.

I got it

from a friend.

Um, I'm not really

supposed to use this phone.

Why don't you

come over?

My address is

Actually, I've-I've

got a lot of work...

to do here... still.

I'm naked.

% Call me

on the line %

% Call me, call me

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Harris Goldberg

Harris Goldberg (born November 17, 1962) is a Canadian-born director, writer and producer. He co-wrote the 1999 film Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo with Rob Schneider and the 2002 film The Master of Disguise with Dana Carvey. In 2007, Goldberg wrote and directed the film Numb, inspired by his own experiences battling an anxiety disorder. more…

All Harris Goldberg scripts | Harris Goldberg Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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