Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo Page #3

-[Barking]

Wolfy, you've gotta stop

doing this to Mommy's friends.

Yes, he does.

Yes, he does.

He'll be all right for a while.

Here, this is for you.

It's all I could grab.

- Did I bring you pleasure?

- Not really.

- You better haul ass.

-[Wolfy Crashes Against Door, Whines]

[Barking Continues]

Ten dollars?

Yeah!

% [Disco]

% [Man Rapping Over Lyrics,

Indistinct]

[Man] A martini

and two olives.

Martini.

Two olives.

Any ladies need

some entertainment tonight?

Eight-fifty.

- Eight dollars?

- And fifty cents.

Well, how much just for

a plain cranberry juice?

- Uh, three dollars.

- I'll go for that.

There you go.

That's eleven-fifty.

Uh, no, no. Perhaps

you misunderstood me.

I wish to cancel my original order

of the martini and two olives...

and go for just the plain cranberry

Juice by itself for the three dollars.

And I apologize for any inconvenience

this may have caused you.

Uh, perhaps

you don't understand.

If you don't pay me now,

I'm gonna take this swizzle stick...

and, uh, I'll be shovin' that

right up your pee hole.

- So that was eleven-fifty, right?

- Right.

Okay,

there's ten...

and six quarters, and--

Tell you what.

I'll go work on your tip.

[Speaking French]

I couldn't help

overhearing your Spanish.

- It's French.

- Ah. Oui.

French. Nice people.

May I?

- No--

- [Flatulent Sound]

Ooh. [Chuckles]

Excuzes-moi. These leather seats.

Would you like a martini

or cranberry juice?

- No.

- Kind of celebrating tonight.

Possible career change.

Mmm.

I'm pretty excited

about it.

You wanna get out of here?

Okay. I'm sorry.

I mean, together.

[Gulps]

What happened

to the carpet?

Oh, it's one of those

Well, that's

certainly appreciated.

Hey, whoa.

Maybe we should take care

of a little business first.

If you prefer.

I don't have a set price or anything,

but I have been getting ten dollars.

- I'm sorry?

- Well, that's my going rate.

But I'm willing

to negotiate.

[Chuckles] That's funny.

But the price is 500.

You're gonna pay me $500?

No, honey. You pay me.

Oh, I get it.

This is some kind of role reversal.

I'll play along

with this.

Okay, 300, 400, 500.

You're my hooker.

No, seriously,

where's my ten dollars?

Look, a**hole. I didn't come

all the way down here for nothing.

Now give me my $500!

You give me ten dollars!

Five hundred, now!

[Groaning]

You pay me ten dollars.

Nice.

Ooh!

Is that all you got?

Ten dollars.

No! Please don't!

Five hundred dollars...

or the fish gets it.

Let's talk about this.

- Why do you have a picture of Antoine?

- Well, this is his place.

I'm watching his fish

for him.

Please, don't tell him

about the shoes, huh?

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