Desperado Page #2
- R
- Year:
- 1995
- 104 min
- 2,305 Views
If he can't beat Cristos, I'm not interested.|Get in there.
Get out!
He doesn't look special so far.
Kick his ass!
That's more like it.
- So much for Cristos.|- Told you.
Listen. This is what I want you to do.
Take extra men and place them|around the Tarasco and La Azteca.
These Colombians wonder|if I can handle the extra volume.
They're watching us enough as it is.
- Hey.|- What?
And him?
Cast that leg up. And welcome to the family.
I have a house payment.
Excuse me.
But...
...I used to work in a bar...
...so I know what it's like to wait on people.
And I want to tell you that the service here...
...needs immediate improvement.
What do you mean?
What do I mean?
Our waiter...
...where is he?
Don't tell me he's still in the bathroom.
He never came back|to see if we wanted anything else.
He never brought us our check.
We wanted our check so we could|get the hell out of here.
Here.
This should be sufficient.
And don't be expecting a tip.
If you don't treat me good, I won't ask you out.
And your beer tastes like piss.
- We know!|- Because we piss in it!
That's not all!
Bad beer, bad service.
Don't they know not to come in?
These are for you.
Just a minute.
I wanted to see the guitar.
Do you play?
Yes, do you?
A little bit.
Play something.
Not right now.
This is my father's, but he doesn't play anymore.
No?
There's not much work for a mariachi.|Now he just watches TV.
I'm sorry to hear that.
He was never that good anyway.
Not as good as I'll be. Listen.
Loosen your fingers a bit.
Like this.
You know what I mean?
Loosen them up.
How do you do that?
All right.
Give me this.
Forget this hand, okay? You want to get faster.
Here's the secret.
Got it?
Good.
Practice this...
...every day.
All day.
Next time...
...I'll show you how to play a tune...
...using what you've learned.
Practice.
This reminds me of a joke.
This guy comes into a bar...
...walks to the bartender and says...
..."Bartender, I got a bet for you.
I'll bet you $300 that I can piss...
...into that glass over there...
...and not spill a drop."
The bartender looks at the glass.|It's 10 feet away.
He says...
..."You're telling me you'll bet me $300...
...that you can piss, standing here...
...into that glass, and not spill a single drop?"
Customer looks up and says:
"That's right."
Bartender says, "You've got a bet."
The guy goes, "Okay, here we go."
Pulls out his thing.
He's thinking about the glass.
He's thinking about the glass.|Thinking about his dick.
Dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass.
Then he lets it rip.
He pisses all over the place.
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"Desperado" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/desperado_6768>.
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