Deeper Page #3

- Well, you know that

porn star John Holmes?

Yeah.

- Well, my dick is a quarter

of an inch shorter than his.

This close.

That's lovely.

So what about you, Mark?

- What, are you asking

my dick size too?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.

Check out this one.

Look at her ass, holy sh*t.

Up here.

Yeah, she has got a

serious case of RCA.

What's RCA?

- Raging cock

addiction, and bad.

Oh my god, wow.

Dude, we gotta

come back for her.

Yeah, we will,

just calm down, cowboy.

- So these girls that you

pick up off the street,

you rehearse with them

before you shoot, or...?

No, no rehearsals.

It's actually pretty simple.

We just pick them up, we

offer them some money,

they take off their clothes,

and Johnny-boy here

sticks them with his dick.

They f*** for a buck.

Exactly, yeah.

We can get them to do

anything we want them to do.

Come on.

Believe it, bro.

Yeah, see, the trick is

everybody else uses pros.

We're the only bona fide

amateur porn station.

The ladies agree out of

pure charm and seduction.

Seduction or manipulation?

Uh, seduction.

Okay, we'll call it seduction.

What kind of seduction

are we talking about?

- Well, that's why

you're here, Mark.

You're here to bear witness.

I, Steve Coulter, am the

most persuasive prick

in the business!

I'm the only guy with

100% amateur rating.

Like, you know how guys,

they're really good at math?

Or they can play the piano,

or painting the Sistine

Chapel or something?

They're blessed with

abilities that nobody knows

why they have them.

Ah, idiot savants?

He's funny.

- Yeah, I don't know

about the idiot part,

but savants, geniuses,

call it whatever you will,

but for whatever

reason, I was blessed

with the peerless

ability to get women

to take off their

clothes and f***.

I'm not good at

much, but at this,

I'm a f***ing ninja.

I am the master.

I could do it in my sleep.

I mean, I didn't

have you come here

to make me more money, man.

Look around.

We're doing fine.

I want someone to capture this

for pure posterity.

- Oh, hey, hey, whoa,

look at these two.

Whoa, wait, two?

Is there a problem?

- No, this is where

you watch and learn.

All right.

Hey,

excuse me, ladies.

Do you have a second?

What is it?

- We're film students

doing a documentary

on the neighborhood

and we were wondering

if we could ask you a

couple of questions?

Like a survey?

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Like a survey.

We could throw you a

little bit of cash.

We're kind of in a tough spot,

'cause we need to hand

it in by tomorrow.

All right.

Shoot.

All right. Well, just hop in.

In there?

- Yeah!

Yeah, in here.

Why not?

What did my parents say

about getting into

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