Deep End Page #3

See you around.

Come on, get your clothes off.

What are you hanging about for? Hop in.

Mmm, thanks.

- Where do you want to...

- Let's sit over here.

- Cheese and pickle, is that all right?

- Yeah, great.

Here, look at this.

Here, look at this lot. Look.

I feel like an organ grinder,

look at this. Look.

All right.

Oi, look at the old one

upon the board there.

Wahey! Look at that.

- Bet you can't do that, Mike.

- Oh, never tried.

There's always a first time.

Hey, that's her. That's the girl.

Oh, to be a sandwich,

now that spring is here.

Why don't you go and change

in the men's room?

You can't change out here.

It's all right.

She's seen it all before, hasn't she?

Hey, you can't swim like that.

- I mean, have you had her yet?

- Calm down.

Have you been up there?

Gone down there? She any good, is she?

Give us it back!

- Go and get it.

- Get it your bloody self!

Push him, come on, push him.

That's it. Hold him down.

Keep him down!

Come on, lads, don't let him get away.

Here you are. They're quite dry now.

No good?

You see, it's the same

every night in winter.

It never starts on its own.

One of these days,

I'm really going to give her one.

- What?

- That girl Susan.

Right, Mike, you jump in

the driving seat and I'll push.

Release the clutch very slowly,

once we're going at a bit of a lick...

Do you know how many people

have laid her?

Yes, sir, can I help you?

It's all right,

I've already talked to the manager.

Oh, great, it's these.

Did you read about these?

- Can I have one to put in my room?

- Yes, of course.

Oh, thanks, great. Oh, fantastic.

Did you see it in the paper?

- Hmm?

- What does it say?

It's that thing from

the Family Planning Association.

The Pregnant Man.

I think it's a good idea.

- Gives you quite a shock, doesn't it?

- Stupid. It's completely stupid.

- Cheerio.

- Bye.

- What is it? Why is it stupid?

- Because a man can never get pregnant.

That's hardly the point.

The point is to shock.

It makes you look at it

and then you think about...

Perhaps I ought to think about...

About what? The whole thing's stupid.

How can a man ever be like that?

You can tell... You can see that...

- Come here, sit.

- No, look.

- You can see it's just a cushion...

- Shut up.

- What?

- Sit down.

Put your feet up here.

Move the pig. Put your feet up.

Lie back. Just relax.

- Just relax. Just relax.

- Sue...

Try to relax. Lie down.

- Susan, it's just a poster.

- See, fantastic.

You can't be playing around with it.

Susan, stop it.

- Susan.

- Oh, wait. Wait a minute.

I've got a better idea.

- What if a customer came in?

- Hey, hey, stop it.

Now I'll be arrested for defacing

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes