Decoys 2: Alien Seduction Page #2

They won't know if we don't tell 'em.

If you guys think that I'm gonna participate

in this juvenile...

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait! You got to.

There's only 2 exceptions.

- One, is if you're gay...

- It's way too easy to score if you're gay.

Or have a steady girlfriend.

Then you got no choice, hombre.

This is exam week

when everyone goes home.

But most people are sticking

around for the party first.

The mother of all parties.

More hotties in one place

than anyone has ever seen.

Last chance to rack up points.

And may the best man win.

Is there a problem, Officer?

This is a 25-mile-an-hour zone.

You were going over 40.

Oh, my...

That is fast, isn't it?

I'm... I'm afraid I'm gonna have to

write you up a citation.

Oh, Officer. Do you have to?

Can I have your license, please?

This'll just take a moment.

Miss, you can't do that.

Civilians are not allowed in.

Officer, I'm a new transfer at the college

and I just can't afford a ticket right now.

You can go to traffic school.

The truth is I just don't

want it on my record.

There must be

some

other

way

we can settle this?

I'm... I'm afraid that I'm...

You're gonna run down the battery.

My baby's never let me down before.

Yeah, well, Nick, do I really need to stress

how important it is

we get your baby going here?

I mean, this party we're going to

has a higher ratio of girls to guys

than any other place in town. This is like...

Hank? You okay?

What the... He's frozen stiff.

What the hell happened here?

Holy mackinaw!

Oh, boys, 9 o'clock.

- You see the way she smiled at me?

- No, she was smiling at me.

Children, children, please.

She was obviously checking me, so...

- Dream on, Henry.

- She was.

Right.

Phone numbers are a waste of time.

If she won't get with you tonight,

cut your losses and move on.

Game on, boys.

What are you doing?

Collecting data for my sociology class.

How long it takes after a girl walks in here

before a guy buys her a drink.

Can I get you a drink?

That took me 17 seconds.

That's sweet. But you don't

really want to buy me a drink.

You want to have sex.

Well, I'd probably say yes, but...

I don't think my girlfriend would approve.

You know the problem with places like this?

- There's a problem?

- Well, it's a meat market.

I mean, everyone's a commodity.

And it's all about scoring.

There's no room left for just being a person.

- You really think so?

- Yes.

Then why are you staring at my nipples?

Guys are all the same.

Talk about feelings and all

you want to do is cop a feel.

- That's not true. I'm not like that.

- Uh-huh.

Take a good look 'cause

it's the closest you're ever gonna get.

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