December Boys

Hello.

When I think about that time...

... it's not the heat,

the dust, the nuns...

... or even the boys I remember...

... so much as a sense of anticipation.

The constant belief

that somehow I'd be saved.

I wouldn't say we had it bad...

... since it was all most of us knew.

It was only there was something

just out of reach...

... and we might never catch up.

Lights out, boys.

May you be blessed

and sleep with God's benevolent grace.

Amen.

Sparks.

Someone's coming.

I don't remember who wrote

''I love a sunburnt country''...

... but I'd bet money

they never lived out here.

Just look at it.

It's the definition of desolate.

This is where I lived

most of my young years.

This is where I lived until,

you could say...

... I was rescued by a dream.

These were my best friends.

Spark, Spit and Maps.

My real name's Vernon,

but they call me Misty.

No reason to go into that right now.

Today's the first of December...

...the December boys

please come forward.

They say the best place to start

is the beginning.

So, first off, you better know

we were all orphans.

- Happy birthday.

- Thanks, Sister.

Thanks, Sister.

Thank you.

Everybody ready?

It's about the smokes.

I told you

she looks under the mattress.

- I didn't put them there.

- It's about mooning Willie.

Enter.

Come in, boys.

Father Scully...

...this is James, Donald,

Bruce and Vernon.

Better known as Maps,

Spark, Spit and Misty.

They're our December boys.

- Happy birthday.

- Thank you, Father.

We have a little surprise for you.

Oh, it's a pleasant surprise.

A benefactor has left

St. Gregory's a little money...

...and I've decided to send everyone

on a holiday.

As this is your birthday month...

...I felt it fitting

you should be the first to go.

We're going on a holiday?

You'll be staying

with Mr. And Mrs. McAnsh.

They're great friends

of the Church.

It's a town called...

...Lady Star Cove.

It's a special place...

...on the sea.

On the sea?

Yes.

It could be

that Our Lady interceded for you.

I had this spiritual antenna

other people didn't have.

That's why I could see things

no one else could.

When I looked at Our Lady, I knew.

I knew she'd chosen me

for a special mission.

Maps.

It was more than being orphans

that tied us together.

Or even our friendship.

It was like destiny.

Cross swords.

We were even given

the same birth month.

All for one, and one for all.

December boys.

The further we traveled

from what we knew...

... the more it seemed like we were

being pulled into another world...

... a world where all the doors

were open...

... and anything was possible.

Ladies and gentlemen,

boys and girls...

The most bone-rattling,

jaw-clenching...

... death-defying act

you've ever seen!

The Wall of Death!

The one, the only,

the bravest man on two wheels...

... Fearless Forte!

- You all right there, boys?

- Yes, Father.

- Come along.

- Come on, fellows.

Right you are.

Welcome aboard.

Boys, this is Petty Officer

Bandy McAnsh.

Father.

Petty officer.

As you can see,

all present and accounted for.

Boys, I'd like you

to meet my lovely wife...

...and the skipper

of this establishment, Mrs. McAnsh.

Nice to meet you.

Father, we thank God

for your safe arrival.

May his grace light your paths...

...and give you the appropriate wisdom

and joy from your new experience.

- Amen.

- I knew there'd be a catch.

Petty officer, show the new recruits

to their quarters...

...and I'll finish in the galley.

Well, have fun, boys.

Thank you, Father.

Right.

Step this way.

Welcome aboard.

All right, mateys.

It's been a long day.

Time to settle down.

Everyone in bed.

And we'll let the Old Specific

sing you a lullaby.

Good night, boys.

The ocean's loud.

- I didn't think it'd be this loud.

- Yeah.

The Old Specific.

Hey, Spit, have a look at this.

Hey, what's that?

I suppose you know

you'll be going to hell?

Really?

Now I'll have company.

Knock it off, both of you.

I'm trying to relax.

You hear that?

Is he coming?

Listen.

My ass is snoring.

Come on, mate.

Last one in's a rotten egg!

Really? Looks like

you're the rotten egg, Spit.

Come on, Mist.

Come on, Misty.

- Come on.

- Come in.

Have a look at this.

Spark, come on.

Yeah, coming.

Hey!

Hey!

- Hey, fishing boat.

- Hello?

- Hey.

- Over here.

Hey, over here.

Look.

Come on.

Race you to the rocks.

Hey, fellows.

Somebody's set themselves up.

Check out the cordial.

- Maps.

- They're somebody else's.

Don't take any.

Hey.

Who wants a ride?

Coming back down.

Hey, guys.

What is it?

Find out.

She was the most beautiful woman

I'd ever seen...

... other than Our Lady.

Sleek as a seal.

Mind you, I hadn't seen

nearly as much of Our Lady.

Sparks. Come on. Sparks, get up.

Come on. Get up.

We heard you were coming.

I'm Teresa.

This was as close as I'd come

to a religious epiphany.

But whatever ideas I had

about becoming a priest...

... quickly climbed into the back seat.

How did you get these names?

We call him Spark

because he stuck a knife in a toaster...

...and nearly set the orphanage

on fire.

And you? You are Spit?

My dad flew a Spitfire during the war.

And I'm a champion spitter.

- And you, you like maps.

- No.

He's got a birthmark on his chest

shaped like Tasmania.

I'm all right.

If he doesn't want any,

I'll have seconds.

And why are you Misty?

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