Dear God Page #2

It's hardly worth tying up|this overburdened court system,

a system which though flawed, yes,|it has flaws, is the best damn system

in the United States of America|and maybe the world!

You can put an exclamation point|by that, Miss. Hallelujah!

So, I'd like to be released now|on my own recognisance, thank you.

Stop, turn, stay.

Now, Mr Turner,|I don't see anything here

about past or present employment|on your sheet.

I don't want to brag|about my stupid accomplishments.

"I did this, I did that." It's...

Your Honour, enough is enough.|If he won't accept a plea...

- I suggest all charges be dropped.|- Substantial jail time...!

One moment, Bob.|Did you say, "Drop the charges"?

I think that was me, yeah.

"Drop the charges."

Approach the bench. Please.

Do you get your pants|custom tailored?

You probably have to,|with a set of balls that big.

Drop the charges?|What a set they must be!

Huge and shiny, I'll wager.|I've always wanted balls like that.

Where did you get yours?|We'll talk more later.

For now, get back to that spot!

Now, you can demand a trial

or in lieu of a plea, you can accept|the recommendation of this court.

What this court recommends|is that you, the defendant,

Tom Turner, AKA, Tom the Preacher,

Tom the Con and Tom the Worm,

you, sir, have one week|to find a job.

A real job. Nine to five,|five days a week, for a year.

Nine to five?|That seems a bit excessive.

If this record showed|you were selling drugs as well...

- His punishment is to get a job?|- In my opinion, we should cane him!

Do you have any idea how hard honest,|working people break their backs

to earn the dollars out of which|you so blithely con them?

I implore you, take this opportunity|to use the innocent apple-pie face

and the fine mind|God has obviously given you,

for something better,|for something decent,

for all the people|whose trust you've crushed.

By the way, if you choose|not to work, you will go to jail.

So, which will it be?

OK, so, it's jail or...|What was the other one?

I hate the Post Office|during the holidays. It's a zoo!

I've been here an hour|to buy three stamps!

- I'm looking for Guy Turner.|- Behind the yellow line. Got to go.

I just have a question. I've walked|around here for 30 minutes...

You have to stand behind the line!

No, I'm not a yellow-liner.|I'm here...

I cannot help you till you stand|behind the yellow line!

- Next.|- I've dealt with your type before!

- I will speak to your supervisor!|- I almost had to help a customer!

I'm in Sorting. This is Monica. Bye.

- Hello, Monica.|- Hi.

I'm having an extraordinarily|crazy day. I need to find...

Behind the yellow line, please.

You're kidding, right?

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