Deadpool Page #4

Deadpool grabs the driver by the HAIR on the BACK of his HEADand BANGS his FOREHEAD into:

The horn. HONK. HONK. The stereo. Every time the driver’sforehead SMACKS the face of the stereo, the RADIO STATION

CHANGES:

MARIACHI. DR. DREW. MONSTER TRUCK COMMERCIAL (’SUNDAY,

SUNDAY, SUNDAY!’). One more SMACK to get us back toMARIACHI.

Deadpool looks in the REAR VIEW MIRROR to see the man in backCRAWL up the tailgate.

Deadpool PUSHES in the Cadillac’s CIGARETTE LIGHTER.

Back to the DRIVER. Deadpool BASHES his face into theDRIVER’s SIDE WINDOW. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.

We’re now OUTSIDE the Escalade, seeing the driver’sexpression take on a ridiculous silly-putty-esque grimace ofpain every time it’s MUSHED into the glass.

The man in back scrambles forward. The CIGARETTE LIGHTER

POPS OUT. Deadpool YANKS the EMERGENCY BRAKE. The man in

back LAUNCHES forward and SMACKS the DASHBOARD.

Deadpool STABS the now ORANGE-HOT lighter into the man’sforehead, burning the COIL PATTERN into his skin. The man

SCREAMS.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)

Loved your work in Daredevil.

Deadpool stuffs the lighter INTO the man’s mouth and CLAMPShis hand over it.

(CONTINUED)

Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 9.

8 CONTINUED:
(2) 8

The man hollers in muffled agony. A MOTORCYCLE has pulledAHEAD of the ESCALADE and now sits, STOPPED, in its path.

The helmeted RIDER OPENS FIRE with a SUB-MACHINE GUN.

Deadpool has one hand grasped on the back of the driver’sneck, still mashing his face into the window glass, and theOTHER hand still clamped over the second man’s mouth. He

plants both FEET on the steering wheel and ‘drives,’ spinningthe wheel, sending the S.U.V. into...

...a ROLL. The Escalade goes ENDO, SOMERSAULTING WILDLY.

Suddenly, the ACTION BEGINS TO SLOW...

The motorcycle RIDER tries to bail out. NO LUCK. The

tumbling Escalade PLOWS RIGHT INTO him AND his bike.

Parts scatter off the motorcycle, including its CHAIN. The

RIDER continues to SQUEEZE off ROUNDS as he goes FLYING.

Inside the Escalade, Deadpool goes SPIN-CYCLE. The DRIVER

flies through the sunroof, tearing out its remaining glass.

BLOOD spatters. The other man spits out the glowingCIGARETTE LIGHTER. The guy whose ankle is still tangled inthe seat-belt FLAILS through the air like a rag-doll, AHABtied to MOBY DICK.

The action CONTINUES to SLOW... until it FREEZES.

The camera swoops in to Deadpool’s face, upside down.

HE TURNS HIS HEAD TO CAMERA FOR THE FIRST TIME, BREAKING THE

FOURTH WALL, THE ONLY THING IN THE SCENE THAT’S MOVING:

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)

Sh*t. Did I leave the stove on?

We RAMP back UP to FULL SPEED. The S.U.V. CARTWHEELS. The

guy’s ankle untangles from the seat-belt. He FLIES hightoward a big HIGHWAY EXIT SIGN and... SPLAT... out of frame.

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