Dead Ringers Page #3

...it's the swinger!

Yeah... hi.

So?

Er, so...

...it was nice.

She's... a little crazy, but sweet.

Tell me all about it.

Later.

No, now.

You might forget something later.

Some yummy detail.

I don't want to tell you about it.

You don't what?

I want to keep it...

...for myself.

Listen...

...you haven't had any experience

until I've had it, too.

You haven't f***ed Claire Niveau

until you tell me about it.

Then I haven't f***ed Claire Niveau.

There's no point to

this discussion, Arlene.

There is a point.

There definitely is a point!

You started with me

and now you won't carry through.

And... we have a relationship!

But you test out fine.

It's your husband that's the problem...

...and all he probably needs

is a good sperm wash.

If it's only a matter of laundry,

why are you opposed to doing it?

We don't do husbands.

We do female infertility.

We do women. That's our specialty.

I am a woman...

...and I want you to take care of me.

I trust you.

It's hard enough to find someone...

...in the medical profession

that you can trust.

Arlene, that's... that's wonderful.

I mean, that's really wonderful...

...but we don't do husbands.

We don't deliver babies, either.

We make women fertile,

and that's all we do.

To achieve anything in life,

one has to keep life simple.

Don't you think?

Irrigation.

It'd be an exaggeration to say we can

make up a new set of fallopian tubes...

...using just anything that's handy.

Those tubes are highly specialised

little organs.

But with the kind of help

we can offer the process...

...it is possible to...

modify several other organs:

...the odd vein...

...or, as today...

...we're using

a femoral lymphatic vessel...

...to take over the function

of conveying the egg...

...from the ovary to the uterus.

What are you taking?

Let me see.

"Dextroamphetamine resin."

"Dosage form:
Capsule."

"7.5 milligrams."

"Use:
Short-term treatment of obesity."

"Minor side effects:

Dry mouth, palpitations...

...restlessness,

unpleasant taste in mouth."

"Major...

...side effects:

...sleeplessness, rapid heartbeat...

...euphoria."

Do you want one?

Where did you learn all that?

Doctor, the Physician's Desk Reference

is my favourite bedside reading.

As a matter of fact...

...they tell me that there's a high incidence

of drug use amongst doctors.

- Is that true?

- Yep.

Do you take drugs?

No.

Well, for pain.

Pain creates character distortion.

It's simply not necessary.

I'm often in a lot of pain.

What kind of pain?

I think...

...psychosexual.

I'd say that was a pretty astute diagnosis.

Though I wouldn't recommend you

using those for that condition.

Who prescribed them for you?

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