Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid Page #2

Synopsis: Juliet Forrest is convinced that the reported death of her father in a mountain car crash was no accident. Her father was a prominent cheese scientist working on a secret recipe. To prove it was murder, she enlists the services of private eye Rigby Reardon. He finds a slip of paper containing a list of people who are "The Friends and Enemies of Carlotta." Searching for answers, Rigby encounters assorted low-lifes: dangerous men and women who were the hallmarks of the classic detective movies of the 40's and 50's. Filming in black and white allows scenes from old movies to be cut into this film. It is through this process that Rigby's assistant is none other than Philip Marlowe himself.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Mystery
Director(s): Carl Reiner
Production: Universal Pictures
 
IMDB:
6.8
Rotten Tomatoes:
77%
PG
Year:
1982
88 min
447 Views


Sorry I called you a fruitcake.

I just don't have time to listen to...

All right, don't listen! Who cares?

Your sister has a lot to

learn about phone courtesy.

You got any idea how

I could locate Sam?

You might ask the bartenders

along 5th Street.

I'll call you if

I turn up anything.

... If I'm not home, leave a message

with the butler or the cleaning woman.

Cleaning woman.

Cleaning woman.

Cleaning woman.

Cleaning woman! Cleaning woman!

Cleaning woman! Cleaning woman!

Cleaning woman! Cleaning woman!

Sorry.

Why did you do that?

When I was seven years old...

my father ran off

with the cleaning...

My mother died of a broken heart.

Now every time someone

says cleaning...

- I go berserk.

- You poor dear.

I don't blame you

for strangling me.

I'll never say it again.

Thanks.

So long, Dollface.

I legged it down 5th Street

looking for Samuel H Hastings.

It was a street of frustrated

hopes and broken dreams.

Everything was cheap, cut-rate. Even

the prostitutes were having a sale.

There was no problem finding Hastings.

He owed money to every bartender.

He was staying at the Hotel Ward on 5th

Street. It used to be on 8th Street...

But they took so many rubber checks,

it bounced all the way across town.

I went to his room and knocked.

- Hastings? Sam Hastings?

- Who is it?

My name is Reardon. I...

have a proposition for ya.

But not today. Does

it have to be today?

- Yeah.

- Come on Monday.

- I got that money for ya.

- What money?

There's a dollar bill

hidden in your sugar bowl.

I'll give you five bucks for it.

- You could buy a lotta booze with that.

- Just a minute.

Look in the top.

It fits perfectly. Most of

the names are illegible...

But I can work out Kitty

Collins and Swede Anderson.

But what does "FOC" mean?

It's a slang word. When a man and a

woman are in love, the man puts his...

No, no. Written here. F-O-C.

Unless I miss my guess, that

stands for "Friends of Carlotta".

- I'm impressed.

- You think that's impressive...

There I was, standing like a kid

doing corny tricks for her...

Driving miles out of my

way just to see her.

Why?

What are you thinking, Mr Reardon?

So long, Dollface. I'll be in

Santa Barbara if you need me.

I found out Kitty Collins was

working at the Brentwood Room.

The Brentwood Room.

Where rich women go to meet rich

men so they can have rich kids.

Miss Collins?

Kitty wouldn't give me any information

if she thought I was a private eye...

Excuse me.

So I decided to act like a

big-shot movie producer.

- My name's Reardon. I make movies.

- How wonderful of you.

- You like boxing pictures?

- I'm afraid I've never seen one.

I'm casting a big boxing picture at RKO.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Carl Reiner

Carl Reiner (born March 20, 1922) is an American comedian, actor, director, and writer whose career spans seven decades. During the early years of television comedy from 1950 to 1957, he co-wrote and acted on Caesar's Hour and Your Show of Shows, starring Sid Caesar. In the 1960s, Reiner was best known as the creator, producer, writer, and actor on The Dick Van Dyke Show. He also had great success as a film director and writer and partnered with Steve Martin in the 1970s when Reiner co-wrote and/or directed some of Martin's most successful films, including the 1979 film The Jerk. Reiner formed a comedy duo with Mel Brooks in "2000 Year Old Man" and acted in films such as The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming (1966) and the Ocean's Trilogy (2001–2007). Reiner has won nine Emmy Awards and one Grammy Award during his career. He is the father of actor and director Rob Reiner, author Annie Reiner, and grandfather to Tracy Reiner. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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