Davy Crockett and the River Pirates Page #3

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a fool out of yourself and get off...

Leave him alone, Crockett,

he's enjoying hisself!

Ain't had so much fun since I slid down

Old Smokey on a barrel stave!

Don't worry, Davy,

we'll beat 'em easy!

Beat 'em?

What's he talking about?

Beat who?

- Me. You got a race on your hands.

- What kind of race?

Keelboats. The Gullywhumper

against the Bertha Mae.

- To New Orleans.

- We can't race you.

I told him, but he wouldn't believe me.

Bet your furs against two barrels

of my Monongahela whiskey.

He knows better.

Took us all winter to get them furs.

My crew's gonna look mighty fancy

in coonskin caps.

Yee-hoo! Ah-ha!

[Davy] George, get down from there!

[Crashing]

[Glass shattering]

[Men laughing]

Hey!

Hey, have a little heart.

That's awful wet!

If you're gonna be a river man,

you gotta get used to water.

I'm awful sorry, Davy.

That won't get us to New Orleans

ahead of Mike Fink.

- Couldn't you say I was foolin'?

- Think he'll let you off that easy?

- I don't reckon. I'll never do it again.

- You better not.

- We've got to find ourselves a crew.

- Not in your condition.

Get back to the boat and

have Cap Cobb put you to bed

while I gather up the gear.

Thank you, Davy.

You're mighty understandin'.

[Indistinct chatter]

Citizens of Maysville,

you are about to witness the start

of an historical event,

which may well be remembered

as the classic contest of all time.

A keelboat race between the intrepid

Davy Crockett of Tennessee...

[all cheer]

And the undefeated Mike Fink,

King of the River!

[Cheering]

- Are the captains ready?

- I'm ready.

I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

Hey, Crockett, might as well

give me them furs now.

You ain't won 'em yet.

Well, if I don't, I'll eat my hat,

red feather and all!

One of these days, that big blowhard's

gonna get what's comin' to him.

Take your starting positions.

Stand by!

Stand by!

No, no, no!

Jumpin' catfish! Do like I told ya.

Go forward

so we can walk back.

[Men laugh]

Now, remember, no one starts

until the cannon fires.

[Mike] Get ready.

Get ready, boys.

[Drumroll]

[Cheering]

Listen to the thunder

Hear the winds roar

Hurricane's a'comin'

Board up the door

Load up the cannon

Call out the law

Worstest calamity

That folks ever saw

Girls run and hide

Brave men shiver

I'm Mike Fink

King of the River!

Oh, he's a ring-tail roarer

And a tough old alligator

Oh, he's a bull-nosed bully

And a real depopulator

Oh, what a fightin' devil

He'll spit right in your eye

He's gonna live forever

[low] Born too mean to die

[all laugh]

It ain't no use, Davy.

We ain't gonna catch 'em.

We just ain't got the hang of it.

We need a song like they've got.

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