Date Night Page #2

gave a press conference.

-Hey.

-Hey. Just gonna catch the sports.

l made this city a promise

to sweep its streets clean.

And let me tell you something, folks.

This broom and l,

we don't break our promises.

Really? The broom promises?

-l'm gonna head up.

-Okay. l'll be up in a sec.

We don't break our promises!

-Oh!

-''Oh,'' what?

No, no, no, no.

You just put in your mouth guard.

That usually means we're not gonna.. .

You know.

Oh! Oh, no, we could.. .

We could still fool around.

Really? Only if you're into it. l mean.. .

No, l.. . No, l would love to. Let me just

get the lights.

(EX CLAlMS lN DlSGUST)

Okay, you know what? No. lt's.. .

Honey, l'm totally fine if we don't.

No, l just.. . l would.. .

No, l would love to.

Let me just get my head around it, 'cause.. .

Okay. We don't.. .

Honey, it's fine. Seriously.

No, it's totally cool if we don't.

Are you sure?

Because those potato skins

made me kind of gassy.

-Let's use a rain check.

-Okay.

-Are you sure?

-l will light up your life next time.

-Or we could just keep it uh-town?

-What?

-Keep it uptown? Do the fast version?

-No, it's okay.

(GROANlNG)

(BOTH SlGHlNG)

-'Cause l could rally.. .

-Nah, l'm good.

Okay.

''Nasrin's feet and tender breasts ached

''as she tramped through

the unforgiving terrain.

''Blood trickled down her leg to the ground,

''leaving one bright red spot of life

amidst unending emptiness."

-Thanks for reading aloud, Phil.

-lt's okay.

This part really spoke to me.

l mean, to walk 20 miles for water,

and then to suddenly discover

that you're menstruating?

-Oh, my God. l could not stop crying.

-Me, too.

l literally could not stop crying.

Me, too, but figuratively.

No. No, literally.

l literally could not stop crying.

Quite sad.

-Quite sad?

-Mmm.

What he means is it's really very moving.

Yeah.

You have no idea what it is like

to be a teenage girl having your first period

under Taliban rule.

That is true.

And neither do you.

Mmm, but.. .

-Hey, Phil, can l get a hand in the garage?

-Yes, please. Yes. Thank you.

Okay. Excuse me, ladies.

(MUTTERlNG) Oh, my God.

-Do you have your period now?

-Yeah.

PHlL:
You should really read this.

lt's about a girl

getting her period in the desert.

Can't wait. l don't know how you agree

to still do those book clubs, buddy.

Well, that's marriage, right?

Sometimes you do stuff

you don't wanna do.

-Not me. Not anymore.

-What.. . What do you mean?

Haley and l are splitting.

What?

-But you guys are happy.

-No, Phil, we're not.

No, no, no. No, you guys are really happy.

No, Phil, we're really not.

Brad, okay, well,

why are we here, then, in your house,

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