Crossing The Bridge Page #2

the whole community a big favor.

Mort! Some friends

of yours are here.

Wake up, mort. Let's go, pal. Mud bowl time.

Mud bowl?

I'm tired, guys.

Come on!

First time he's been out of the

house before noon in a year.

It's mud bowl.

I love you boys.

Mud bowl! Mud bowl!

Mud bowl! Mud bowl!

Mud bowl! Mud bowl!

Mud bowl! Mud bowl!

Mud bowl! Mud bowl!

Mud bowl! Mud bowl!

I'm too tired to play football!

You guys'll hurt me.

I'm a p*ssy, remember?

Mud bowl!

My God! It's smilin' Jack Harper, man.

Back from college for mud bowl.

Unbelievable!

He's in a suit. The poor f***er's in a suit.

Hey, nice suit, smilin'.

What are you, a fed now?

What's the deal, harps?

You're not playing?

I got an interview over at

g.M., products flow division.

If you were half a man, you'd play. Yeah.

Let me ask you boys a question.

Which do you think is more important?

Smilin' Jack gettin'

this job at g.M.?

No!

Or playin' in this here mud bowl!

Don't do it, come on, man.

Don't do it? Come on, Danny.

Jesus, I got a meetin'.

Harper has the ball. He's comin'

down the field. Leave me alone.

Leave me alone, Tim.

He's at the ten!

Then Reese comes out of the blue!

He's at the five!

The two!

Reese...

Stops him at the one!

Look at this!

You look great, Jack.

I got a meeting. Didn't you hear me?

No, not really.

- Doesn't that mean anything to you guys?

- No, not a thing!

What's the meaning, Jack?

Danny.

Catch.

Get him, Tim!

Get him!

Let's play ball!

Yessiree! One hell

of a good mud bowl!

So then what'd you do?

Did you hit him?

No, I didn't hit him. I just

let him finish yellin' at me.

Poor, misguided fool!

You've been there, mort? You

actually seen him hit his dad?

Danny has too, right on his front lawn.

Your dad, he looks like Uncle fester in a

certain light. Has anyone ever told you that?

Hey, Tim, what, are you deaf?

Don't touch the tools.

How many times I gotta say it?

Egghead's touchy about the tools.

Speakin' of goofy, rinny,

your older sister, fern,

does she brush her teeth?

She smiled at me once and I swear, I

couldn't use my dick for like a year.

Hey, trace, how's it goin'? I'm doin' fine.

How's your mom?

- She's gettin' by.

- Tell her, "hi."

She wants you, Marty.

She wants you.

She's a little older than you, but what the

hell. It's not like you can afford to be picky.

What are you talking about?

Mort likes older women.

Mort likes anyone who'll look at him.

It's true.

I once had sex with

a 75-year-old woman.

I felt like I was robbing the grave.

- Not funny.

- Definitely not funny.

Is that a new one, mort, because it sucks?

It's not a big deal, Tim. It was an ad lib.

It was off the cuff.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes