Crash

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1

I take it this means you missed me?

Sshh, Mum and Dad are

back in half an hour.

You can talk later.

# And leaving without them... #

You're back! You said

you'd be back at seven!

Rach! Tom picked me up.

Don't lick me!

You have to drop out.

It's been sh*t without you.

All right, Rach? Hi.

To be honest, Rachel, we're

just going to have a night in.

But I've told everyone you

were going to be there.

I haven't seen my mum or dad yet.

You've got all Christmas for that.

Anyway, I thought Tom would

have told you by now.

I told him not to but you know

what he's like around you.

He's whipped! He's whipped!

Rach! Tom, you could have warned me!

Well, yeah, but you're only

back for the holidays,

I've got to live round here.

Look, it's your first night back,

we have to do something.

Unless you two have got

something else in mind?

What? No! No! The Rose

and Crown it is.

I can come back if

you want to get ready.

Rach, I am ready!

What, don't you like

this or something?

It's just... different.

Oh, right, have the Rose and Crown

introduced a dress code

since I was last there?

Ash! Oh, my God, haven't any of

yous heard of knocking?

Look at you. Our little girl,

all grown up, making it

in the big wide world.

Feels like years.

Three months, Ash.

I swear, you're worse than her!

If we go now, we can get seats.

That looks nice on you.

Ah, thank you, mate, cos, you know,

Rachel was worried it was too

"different"! Sensitive.

For the Rose and Crown?

That's what I said.

Oh, yeah, because Rachel

always looks so sort of... Nice hat.

No, I was just on about

going out after.

Have you seen what the

average KFC punter wears?

That's Ethan, come on, everybody.

Now then, what's occurring?

Ah, Dad! Presents!

Very current that, Dad.

Not cringe at all!

Happy Christmas, love! Thanks, Mum.

Good to have you home. What's this?

You've got your fancy boots on,

your make-up on,

your hair's all done,

do you think they're trying

to tell us something, Ann?

You going out? You've only just

come back. I thought we'd have a

nice quiet night in, I thought we'd

have a catch up. Mum...

I'm teasing, he told us last night.

Tom! You warned everyone

but me, thank you.

Tom, while I've got you,

I'm having trouble getting

the Bluetooth to work in the new

car, I wonder if you could...

Tomorrow, I'll pop round,

have a look? Nice one.

OK, people, Rose and Crown!

I've put a wash on for you, Mum.

Put a wash on? You are learning

something, then, at this university?

Come on. If we go now

we can get seats.

I have to pick up Brian, take him

home before we go out, that OK?

Fine, whatever. Who needs seats?

Look, it was starting to chuck

it down when we come in

so watch yourselves.

Cover up your hair!

Hi! Hi.

Hey, you all right, mate?

How's it going? Good.

Come on, you're with us.

Oh, Tom's car's more comfortable.

I heard that! Ash! Well, apparently

I'm with Rach and Ethan.

Tom's picking his brother up.

And there I was just thinking you

wanted the pleasure of my company.

Kidnap and friendship - it's a

fine line for our Rach. Ethan!

Yes, my lady. I'll see

you in a bit, Mart. See you later.

Jesus, talk about a vice grip.

Why can't I go in their car?

I was giving them some space.

I was being nice.

I can be nice, you know.

The whole convention of

present-giving is you don't know

what you're getting.

I'm not really into "convention".

Can you not just give

me a hint, a tiny one? No!

Oh, fun.

What are you doing here?

I could ask you the same question.

Mum's sick, you're supposed

to be looking after her.

No, Mum's hung over

from her work do.

Anyway, I told her I

was meeting a friend.

Friend? Yeah, I just missed the

"boy" bit off of "boyfriend".

Boyfriend? You're going

out with that? Wow.

Six months now.

Brian Harris. We've met before.

About a dozen times. Home now.

I was going there, anyway.

Selfish brat!

Takes one to know one.

Catch me, Brian!

Not a peep out of you or I will

break that finger and shove it

in a certain orifice

if you don't behave yourself.

You have my full sympathy.

Can we get food before the pub?

Hi, Mum. I forgot my keys.

We'll leave the front door open.

Watch what you're doing in that car.

Mum, Tom's a good driver.

It's not his driving

I'm talking about. Mum!

Love you. OK, I love

you too. Bye, bye.

Oh, my God.

Do you want to stick a CD on?

Sorry, did someone mention pizza?

You're into Dylan?

No, it's for your dad.

He mentioned he went

to that gig ages ago.

I tracked down the bootleg.

Sorry, did I mention pizza?

You're being way

too subtle, Brian.

I'd prefer it if you didn't distract

the driver whilst he's driving.

Excuse me! And I'd prefer it if

you walked home. As you were.

It is actually pronounced, "quelle

age as-tu." If you don't do

the accent,

you won't get the marks. I don't

know why you're taking French,

anyway, it's a waste of your time.

I love filming her rants,

it drives her mad.

I'm not ranting, I'm talking.

Will you stop doing that?

This is so going on Facebook.

You should bring her out more often.

I don't know why you

always stick up for her.

Because she's quite funny, actually.

Yeah, hello, I am actually sat here.

I'm actually trying to

pretend you're not here.

What? Nothing.

F***ing twat.

Jesus! D*ckhead!

What is he doing?

Listen, I'm really sorry about Rachel

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