Crash

It's the sense of touch.

What?

Any real city, you walk, you know?

You brush past people.

People bump into you.

In L.A., nobody touches you.

We're always behind

this metal and glass.

I think we miss

that touch so much

that we crash into each other

just so we can feel something.

You guys okay?

I think he hit his head.

You don't think that's true?

Stay in your car.

Graham, I think

we got rear-ended.

I think we spun around twice.

And somewhere in there,

one of us lost our frame of reference.

And I'm gonna go look for it.

- Calm down, ma'am.

- I am calm!

I need to see your registration

and insurance.

Why? It's not my fault!

It's her fault! She do this!

My fault?

Ma'am, you really need

to wait in your vehicle.

My fault?

Stop in middle of street!

Mexicans no know how to drive.

She "blake" too fast.

I "blake" too fast? I "blake" too fast.

- I'm sorry you no see my "blake" lights.

- Ma'am.

See, I stop when I see a long line of cars

stopped in front of me.

Maybe you see over

steering wheel, you "blake" too!

Ma'am!

I call immigration on you.

Look what you do my car.

Officer, can you please write in your report how

shocked I am to be hit by an Asian driver!

- Ma'am!

- Ma'am, no. See, Detective...

All right. You've got to calm down.

Hey, Detective! Nice entrance.

F*** you.

Hey, you okay?

I'm freezin'.

Sh*t. I heard it might snow.

- Get outta here.

- That's what I heard.

- You got a smoke?

- Nah. I quit.

Yeah, me too.

- What do you got?

- Dead kid.

Hey, Bob.

You get one free box of ammunition.

What kind do you want?

Yo, Osama! Plan a jihad

on your own time.

What do you want?

Are you making insult at me?

Am I making insult "at" you?

Is that the closest you can come to English?

- Yes, I speak English! I am American citizen.

- Oh, God, here we go.

I have right like you.

I have right to buy gun.

Not in my store, you don't!

Andy, get him outta here now!

- Go wait in the car.

- Now. Get out!

You're an ignorant man!

Yeah, I'm ignorant?

You're liberating my country.

And I'm flying 747s into your mud huts

and incinerating your friends?

- Get the f*** out!

- No, you get the f*** out!

No, don't touch me!

He cheat me!

- Andy, now!

- Let's go.

Okay.

You can give me the gun

or give me back the money.

And I am really hoping

for the money.

- What kind of ammunition do you want?

- Whatever fits.

We got a lot of kinds.

We got long colts,

short colts, bull heads,

flat nose, hollow points,

wide cutters,

and a dozen more that'll fit

any size hole.

Just depends upon how

much bang you can handle.

I'll take the ones

in the red box.

- You know what those are?

- Can I have them?

Did you see any white people waitin' an hour

and 32 minutes for a plate of spaghetti?

And how many cups of coffee

did we get?

You don't drink coffee

and I didn't want any.

Man, that woman poured cup after cup

to every single white person around us.

But did she even ask you

if you wanted any?

We didn't get any coffee that you didn't want

and I didn't order,

and that's evidence

of racial discrimination?

Did you notice

that our waitress was black?

And black women don't think

in stereotypes?

You tell me.

When was the last time you met one

who didn't think she knew

everything about your lazy ass

before you even opened

your mouth, huh?

That waitress sized us up

in two seconds.

We're black, and black people don't tip.

She wasn't gonna waste her time.

Somebody like that? Nothing you can do

to change their mind.

How much did you leave?

You expect me to pay

for that kind of service?

What? What the f***

is you laughin' at, man?

I'm seriously starting to think

that you're jealous of Karen.

Hardly. I'd just like to see you get through

a meal without calling her or anyone else.

Okay, no more phone calls.

As a matter of fact, you can hold the battery.

Okay?

Ten bucks says

she calls you in the car.

Wait, wait, wait.

See what that woman just did?

- You see that?

- She's cold.

She got colder

as soon as she saw us.

- Ah, come on, don't start.

- Man, look around you, man.

You couldn't find a whiter, safer

or better-lit part of this city right now.

But yet this white woman

sees two black guys

who look like UCLA students

strolling down the sidewalk,

and her reaction

is blind fear?

Look at us, dawg.

Are we dressed like gangbangers?

Huh? No.

Do we look threatening? No.

Fact. If anybody should be

scared around here, it's us!

We're the only two black faces surrounded by

a sea of over-caffeinated white people

patrolled by

the trigger-happy L.A. P D.

So you tell me.

Why aren't we scared?

'Cause we got guns?

You could be right.

- Get the f*** outta the car!

- Gimme the keys!

- Hurry up! Get down!

- Okay, okay, okay, okay.

- No, no! Please!

- Don't look at me! Turn around!

- Come on! Go!

- We're fine! Just keep moving!

No, no, no! Take that voodoo-assed thing

off of there right now.

I know you just didn't call

Saint Christopher voodoo.

Man's the patron saint

of travelers, dawg.

You had a conversation

with God, huh? What did God say?

"Go forth, my son, and leave big slobbery

suction rings on every dashboard you find"?

Why the hell do you do that?

Look at the way your crazy ass drive,

then ask me again.

Chevy pickup and Mercedes

driving north on Balboa.

Pickup cuts in front. Driver of the Mercedes

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