Craig Ferguson: Does This Need to Be Said?

Synopsis: If you only know Craig Ferguson as host of The Late Late Show or as Drew Carey's sitcom boss, you're missing out. The gloriously ribald Scot takes to the stage in this all-new extended and uncensored stand-up special for a night of jokes and storytelling peppered with the kinds of words he's not allowed to say on network TV.
66 min

I was the clarinet player.

Yeah, that's right.

But no more!

Now i sit on tv

and i can't say "f*ck."

It bothers me, you know?

It bothers me

that i can't cuss on tv.

'Cause i'm a very cussy man.

I am a very cussy man.

Not an angry cusser.

I'm not one of them "f*ck you"

cussers, like that.

Like a, "f*ck you!

F*ck! F*ck!" Like that.

Like, "f*ck!"

I don't have to do that.

I just like doing that.

But i'm not one of them, "f*ck!

F*ck! F*ck! F*ck!" Guys,

Like that,

like a dog.

That's what dogs are saying,


They are saying it.

Not in, uh,

Adorable dog language.

They're saying it in english.

"F*ck! F*ck!

"F*ck! F*ck! F*ck! F*ck!

"F*ck! F*ck! F*ck!



F*ck. F*ck!

F*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck,

f*ck, f*ck!

F*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck,

f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!

Dogs are saying "f*ck."

Cats don't say "f*ck,"

but they're thinking it.

They're thinkin', "f*ck you."

No, i like to cuss.

I'm not an angry cusser.

I'm not a "f*ck you" guy.

I'm not...i'm more

kind of like,

"Shut the f*ck up."

Like that.

Like friendly cussin', like,

"No fuckin' way!"

Shit, f*ck, no!"

Like, that helps me be

more adorable to people.

I know, i've heard all

the arguments against cussing.

You know,

"oh, craig, come on.

Cussing just shows a lack

of vocabulary."

And i think,

"oh, shut the f*ck up!"

No, it does not.

Some of the greatest

minds in history love to cuss.

Shakespeare cussed

all the time.

But he did it in that fancy

ren fair language,

So nobody knew

he was cussing.

And like,

"to be or not to be?

F*ck if i know."

I'm paraphrasing,

but that's what he meant.


What i'm saying is,

i like to cuss.

It helps me be

friendly to people.

It emphasizes

my friendliness.

Like if you see...if you see

a friend of yours, right,

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Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson (born 17 May 1962) is a Scottish-American television host, comedian, author and actor. He was the host of both the syndicated game show Celebrity Name Game (2014–2017), for which he has won two Daytime Emmy Awards, and of Join or Die with Craig Ferguson (2016) on History. He was also the host of the CBS late-night talk show The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014). In 2017 he released a web show with his wife Megan, titled Couple Thinkers. It ran for six episodes from October 9, 2017. It is available on YouTube. After starting his career in Britain with music, comedy and theatre, Ferguson moved to the United States where he appeared in the role of Nigel Wick on the ABC sitcom The Drew Carey Show (1996–2004). He has written and starred in three films, directing one of them, and has appeared in several others, including several voice-over roles for animations. Ferguson has also written two books: Between the Bridge and the River, a novel, and American on Purpose, a memoir. He was naturalised as a United States citizen in 2008. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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