Control Page #3

We all get stinkin' rich and go buy

f***in' great big houses in Cheshire.

- Job's a good 'un.

- And who are you?

Rob Gretton. I already manage

a couple of bands.

But they couldn't sniff the sweat

round your bollocks.

You lot are somethin' else.

I hold my hands up.

I am a believer in Joy Division.

F***in' hallelujah.

I'm also resident DJ here,

which means I know anyone of any

music biz use anywhere in this city.

I'll have you lot signed within

the month. In fact, I guarantee it.

We've already got a manager,

haven't we, lads?

- Who's that, then?

- F***in' me.

- What's your name, mate?

- Terry.

- Terry what?

- Terry Mason.

Terry Mason. Tez.

You mind if I call you Tez?

Tez, you know jack sh*t about this

business. Wanna know how I know?

'Cause I haven't heard of you.

I bet you haven't even got

a f***in' telephone, have you?

Didn't think so. How will you book gigs

and cut deals without a phone,

you daft c*nt?

No offence. I call everyone that.

Look, I've got to pack up my gig.

Ring me.

Rob's Records, Rob speaking.

All right, Ian. Yeah, good, yeah.

Well, that's f***in' brilliant, Ian.

Well, I'll speak to you later, then.

Fine, I understand.

But you've got to sign with Factory.

This isn't an issue.

We're a fresh and exciting label,

you're a fresh and exciting band.

And, most importantly, we both fly

the flag for the Republic of Manchester.

- Don't give a f*** about that.

- I'm a royalist.

- And I suppose they're Nazis as well.

- We're not Nazis.

- What about the money?

- It's 50l50 on the profits.

You own all the publishing rights

and can walk away at any time.

- You serious?

- Rob...

I don't f*** about with talent

I want to work with.

I'll even sign the contracts in my

own blood if it'll make you happy.

We'll speak later, then.

Now remember, we are live,

so no swearing or they will cut you off.

- What about "arse"?

- What?

- Is "arse" a swear word?

- "Arse", yes. It's a swear word.

- No, it's not.

- Bernard,

out there I know

"arse" isn't a swear word.

Here, in TV land,

"arse" is most definitely a swear word.

Trust me, I know

all about swearing and TV.

I'm a master of knowing

when I can and when I can't.

What about "big dog's cock"?

Can you say that?

No.

Seeing as how this is

the first television programme

which brought you the

first appearances from everyone

from The Beatles to the Buzzcocks,

we like to think we bring you

the most new and interesting sounds

in the North-West.

They're called Joy Division,

a Manchester band

except for the guitarist who comes from

Salford. A very important distinction.

This is called Transmission.

I can't believe you did it.

Must have lost about half a pint.

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