Confessions Of An American Bride Page #2
- Year:
- 2005
- 90 min
- 57 Views
I love you.
I'm not a crier, but...
Yes.
I'd been engaged for a shade
under three hours...
... and already I felt behind.
I had work to do.
Men get porn,
women get wedding websites.
You a little excited, huh?
We need flowers, a band, centerpieces,
a caterer. The best ones go fast.
We have to get on this.
We don't even have a date.
- Okay, what were you thinking?
- June 15th.
I checked and there's less than
an 18 percent chance of precipitation.
Well, June 15th it is.
Now, how about bed?
I'm sure there's not
a 3 a. m. Rush on caterers.
I just... I want everything
to be perfect.
I mean, the word "wedding"
has always turned me into mush.
It's like some ingrained
X- chromosome thing.
I can't help it. My head is spinning
in wedding thoughts.
Do you think I'm crazy?
Well, besides agreeing to marry me...
...I see no evidence of you being crazy.
I promise, after the wedding I'll go back
to being good old level-headed Sam.
I just want it exactly right.
- It'll be perfect.
- Here it comes.
- Sam, I promise.
Being engaged is like having all of
your feelings dropped into a blender...
...and then someone hits "mix"
before you put the top on.
See?
It's the most bizarre mixture of pure joy,
total dread, and gunk.
Speaking of dread,
it's time I told you about my mother.
My early memories of her are great.
were the luckiest girls in the world.
But as we got older,
it became clear that things changed.
You know that saying,
"You can't have a favorite child"?
Well, don't believe it.
I remember this.
We took a cross-country
road trip when I was 16.
Notice something?
And it only got worse.
All of you worked tirelessly...
Anne, I know that
you'll be valedictorian.
Okay, okay, she didn't really say that.
But it felt like she did.
And, by the way,
Anne was valedictorian.
And it's kind of ridiculous...
...but Anne has more awards
than most girls have shoes.
And although I can't resent her luck
or talent or whatever...
...I can resent my mother
only noticing her.
Hey, Sammy.
- Hi!
- Congratulations, you.
Thank you.
So one guy for the rest
of your life, huh?
That is crazy.
I mean, how do you know?
How does he not get on your nerves?
I don't know. I love him.
- I'll stick with sex for now.
- Paging Dr. Cynic.
- Hi, Mom!
- Hello, darling.
- Sammy, Sammy.
- Hey.
Congratulations. My little girl.
- Do you want a beer?
- Thanks, but no thanks, Dad.
- Champagne at the wedding, I promise.
- All right.
- What is all this stuff?
- Research, dear.
Invitations, programs, menus, favors.
I've been to five weddings
in the last year...
...and I will not allow yours
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