Coneheads Page #2

They won't ask, but it's there.

And social security numbers. Name?

Donald R De Cicco.

Nice to meet you.

Welcome to the United States.

Right there. Up and down.

This is a fine craft.

It can be operated with ease.

Not so close, alright?

I'm not against closeness,

it's just not my thing.

In America, we got this thing

called space. There you go.

If you're gonna live here

and have kids, get yourself together.

Buy yourself a car,

maybe get a hat for that head.

And do something about those teeth.

You know what the key to success is?

I do not.

I'm gonna tell you.

Look good. Be your own boss.

Never get chained to a desk. When it

comes to business, take cash only.

Look good, be own boss,

no desk, cash only.

You got it.

- Got any more of that gum?

- Of course.

But if I chew and drive

I might hit something.

Please, I'm better with English.

All I'm getting is clicking noises.

Clicking?

Could you be a lamb

and have a seat?

Take-o uno seataro, por favor.

Hi, there. I'll take that.

Mr Seedling can't see anyone.

He's having one of those days.

Isn't that cute?

OK, that's not yours.

Bear in mind

these figures are not to scale.

I suggest we put electronic collars

on all the deportees.

We bury a wire along the border,

forming an invisible fence.

The next time this illegal

tries to enter the country...

A jolt he won't soon forget.

It'll send a nice message

to the rest of the population.

Let's get on this.

Why am I the only one

who sees the problem?

I don't know.

Everyone else hopes the problem

will go away. It won't.

You're right. It won't disappear.

- Maybe I should give up.

- No.

- Sure. Be like everybody else.

- It's not you.

- Let the country be overrun.

- You wouldn't be happy.

That's why I have

to give it everything. 100 percent.

- Everyone thinks it's crazy.

- And obsessive.

- That I'm a mental case.

- Completely insane.

I have something for you.

That deceased SSI number

you flagged.

De Cicco's back. That's

the tenth job he's taken this month.

Not bad for a guy who was shot dead

in a clam bar in Sheepshead Bay.

Now Mr De Cicco is working

as an appliance repairman.

Let's see. Donald De Ciccos

one through five turned out to be

a Samoan, a Vietnamese,

a Sicilian, a Canadian...

- And a Belgian.

- He skipped back to Belgium.

I lost him, Eli. This one I want.

Dr Rudolph,

this is Mr De Cicco. He wants

his teeth capped. All of them.

OK. We'll just take a look.

Hello, Mr De Sicko.

De Cicco. The name is De Cicco.

I'm Dr Rudolph. Can we send

for your regular dental records?

When I was young,

I chipped a tooth horn

on my rocket sled in a vurl storm.

But there were no records

which we could send

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