Coffee and Cigarettes Page #2
the white jumpsuits, and the capes.
Elvis wouldn't do that.
And it was his brother who got really fat.
You know, eating those
banana-fried butter sandwiches and all.
The Colonel said, "We gotta get rid
of this guy. He can't be Elvis anymore."
So they started feeding him pills.
So what? What are you saying?
What's the punch line?
- Y'all are Elvis fans?
- No.
You wanna hear something about Elvis?
I'll tell you something about him.
- You ever heard of Otis Blackwell?
- No, ma'am.
- You ever heard of Junior Parker?
- No, ma'am.
Yeah, I didn't think so.
You know, Elvis robbed their music, man.
He paid them $10 for their music,
and all these other black musicians, too.
- That's what I think of Elvis.
- Here's where my theory fits.
I don't think it was Elvis.
I think it was his brother.
So in that case, it's all right?
My favorite Elvis quote is, "The only thing
colors can do for me is shine my shoes."
I don't think the King said that.
See, I think it was his evil twin.
Danny, what you doing over there?
You got tables to wait on. Come on.
- I'll be right back.
- Yeah, don't get fired, man.
Slaphappy hillbilly.
Cheers.
Something smells funny in here.
Is that my shirt you got on?
No, I don't think so.
Yeah, I think it is.
This doesn't smell like me.
Yeah? What do you smell like?
I smell like me,
and this doesn't smell like me.
- I smell like me, too.
- But this smells like you.
That's because I am me.
Is that my shirt?
- Why you always copying me, anyway?
- I'm not copying you.
- Why don't you get your own style?
- I have my own style.
Your style is my style because you copy it.
- It's my style.
- No, it's not your style.
Service is bad, the coffee is bad,
the music sucks.
Those are my shoes.
- These are my shoes.
- Those are my shoes.
- These are my shoes.
Bullshit.
- Hey.
- Hey, Tom.
- All right.
- I'm glad you could make it.
You are here.
You know, you can call me Jim.
I mean, you know, my friends call me Jim,
or Jimmy, or lggy, or Jiggy.
Call me lggy.
Okay, all right, whichever way you go.
I'll go either way, Jim or lggy...
You call me lggy.
Look, I'm sorry I'm late, Jim.
Boy, four-car pileup.
I delivered a baby this morning
at about 9:
00.I was saving lives,
I was out there on the highway, it was...
You know, there's nothing worse
than roadside surgery.
You don't have your own tools,
and it's just... It's murder.
I performed a tracheotomy
with a ballpoint pen and...
I've been busy.
Wait a minute. You're a doctor?
Yeah, I'm a doctor.
Music and medicine, really.
It's really been my thing.
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"Coffee and Cigarettes" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/coffee_and_cigarettes_5726>.
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