Cocktail Page #2

the world generally ignored...

to its detriment.

Me.

- Ever work behind the bar?

- My uncle's in the business.

You know how to make a "Red Eye,"

mister... What's your name?

Brian Flanagan.

No, I'm...

sorry I haven't had

the pleasure as yet.

What about a vodka martini

with a Pernod float?

I'm a fast learner.

Ever throw a 400-pound

psychopath out of a bar?

I guess I could if I had to.

What about a 100-pound ballerina

that's been speeding for three days?

Just open the door and let her

pirouette out in the street?

Well, these are just some of the tasks

you'll be asked to perform,

young Flanagan.

This is the Upper East Side,

the saloon capital of the world.

The big time.

Are you ready for the big time,

young Mr Flanagan?

I think I can handle it.

- Get your act together!

- Vodka and Rose's, please!

Hey, come on, man!

I got four people waiting for me!

I'm not going back there

with three drinks!

I know! It's coming!

Absolut on the rocks,

Gilbey's and tonic, and a Velvet Hammer.

- This isn't what I ordered!

- A Molson and a Cuba Libre!

- What was that?

- A Molson and a Cuba Libre!

What is this,

"hire the handicapped" week?

If you're gonna sit in the water,

go to Coney Island!

You want me

to bite the top off this?

Here. This has got recipes.

- Ordering a Cuba Libre!

- Could I please have a glass of water?

- He doesn't know how to make it!

- Where's my Jim Beam on the rocks?

It's coming!

I'm not leaving

until I get my Cuba Libre!

Excuse me.

Could I have an Orgasm?

- This isn't what I ordered!

- A white wine.

You b*tch!

Why didn't you just tell me

it was a rum and Coke?

- Could I have what I ordered?

- A Bloody Mary.

- A white wine.

- Pink Squirrel!

- A Friar Tuck!

- A Ding-a-ling!

- A white wine!

- Pink Squirrel!

- Angel Tit!

- A Dirty Mother!

- Can I have what I ordered?

- All right!

All right! Now, what was it

that you ordered?

A martini!

What's in that?

You're supposed to get

ten percent from the waitresses.

I don't deserve it.

Hey, schmuck, do you get

money from girls every day?

Listen, I'm sorry

I called you a b*tch.

Why? I am a b*tch.

Got yourself a new disciple?

Good night, my beautiful.

Hey, frogman.

Anyone that can get money

out of her is a major talent.

Come back next Thursday.

I've got five shifts open.

- You're offering me a job?

- Uh-huh.

The waitresses hate me.

Well, you wait till

you've given them crabs.

Then you'll really know hatred.

Today I'd like to continue

our discussion of the demand

for money by focusing on...

the money multiplier.

You've got to add increases in currency,

deposits, reserves and bank credit

along the whole system.

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