Coal Miner's Daughter Page #2

(MUSIC STOPS)

Preacher Banks was supposed to be

here to auction off these pies.

And he's sick and I...

I sure can't take no

time to auction no pies.

Besides, if these girls want

to eat pies with a boy,

they'll do it whether

there's an auction or not.

(GROANS)

Say, lady, I'll auction

off them pies for you.

You will?

I sure will.

Six bits? Got six bits right there.

Who's gonna bid a dollar?

MAN:
I will!

All right, now we got

a dollar right here, now.

It's a dollar one time.

Boys, that's a dollar twice.

That's sold, right there, for a dollar.

(CHEERING)

Give me that

dollar right there.

Thank you.

All right, you all

got one more pie left.

It's a chocolate pie

here, belong to

Loretta Webb.

Who's gonna bid first?

I bid two bits.

DOOLITTLE:
Two bits?

Buddy, that's an insult!

Who's gonna start off with a dollar?

Who'll give me a dollar, now?

(INDISTINCT MURMURING)

I guess I get it, then.

Heck, I'll bid a dollar, buddy.

You're the auctioneer.

You ain't supposed to bid.

Oh, all right, that's a dollar

once, that's a dollar twice...

Hey, a dollar and a dime.

Three dollars.

That ain't fair, he's cheating!

(CROWD MURMURING)

All right,

that's $3 once, $3 twice...

Three and a dime.

$3.75.

$3.77.

(CROWD LAUGHING)

$5.

CROWD:
Ooh!

Once, twice, sold to

Mr. Doolittle Lynn for $5.

(ALL CHEERING)

(PLAYING BLUEGRASS MUSIC)

MAN:
(SINGING) Play in the

house and play in the sea

And when that

pretty girl turns to me

Swing her high

and swing her low

Swing your partner, do-si-do

Takes that lamb and

takes that squirrel

Takes that pretty

girl round the world

(SPITTING)

Make a lot of

chocolate pies, Loretta?

Not too many, except this one.

(COUGHS)

How much salt did

that recipe call for?

You don't put no salt in a chocolate pie.

You just put in sugar and...

Well, you must have got 'em

mixed up, Loretta.

Makes a lot of sense, though.

The salt and sugar's both white.

(CROWD CLAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)

Well, there ain't no sense in

walking when you can ride. Come on!

I ain't gettin' in that thing.

You ain't never rode

in a car before, have you?

That ain't no car.

Looks like something from Mars.

Mars? Gal, what the hell do

you know about Mars anyway?

I'll bet you ain't never been

past the mouth of this hollow.

Come on now, get in this thing.

I said I ain't gettin'

in it and I ain't!

If you like me so much,

you can walk me home.

Oh, Lord, them pies ain't the only

thing salty about you, are they?

Wait a minute! Wait,

we'll walk it, then. Wait!

You know, the first time

I ever seen you I said,

"Me and that little ol' gal's

gonna get together. "

I saw you, too,

in that little soldier suit.

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