Cigarette Soup Page #2

that's all it is,

-is f***ing bullshit.

-Why do you think

it's bullshit?

'Cause monti knows

he should be out f***ing

killing bad guys.

-Amen.

-Amen.

'Cause, you know, anybody

can do this job right here.

My retarded little brother

could do this in his sleep.

Wait, wait.

You have a f***ing

retarded brother?

That means

that your mom's p*ssy

is a conveyor belt

for retarded humans.

Like, it's like

a factory of mass produced

retarded humans.

The hand of god touched

my mom's vagina twice.

-What in the f***

are you guys doing?

-Sorry, sergeant.

We are on a goddamn

mission here

and you guys

are horsing around

like a bunch

of goddamn idiots.

Are you a bunch of dumb

f***ing monkeys?

Stay focused.

Do you understand?

Got it.

Jackson, you guys

hear me down there?

-Oorah!

-Oorah!

All right, one of our patrols

came under some light fire

about two kilometers

from here.

Why aren't we helping

our guys out?

We're not going anywhere.

That's a negative.

We got a young, inexperienced

journalist with us here.

We gotta keep an eye on him.

Are you kidding?

Does it look like

I'm f***ing kidding you,

Montgomery?

Do you see me smiling, huh?

Am I f***ing laughing?

Look at me when

I'm talking to you.

All right, listen up.

Apparently one of our guys

got a little trigger happy

back there

and he greased a civilian.

We've been over the r.O.E

a million goddamn times,

but let me reiterate,

no one is allowed

to shoot anyone

who is unarmed.

No one is allowed

to shoot anyone

unless you are

absolutely certain

without a shadow

of a goddamn doubt

that they pose

an immediate threat to us.

Got it?

Hooah.

Good.

All right, let's move out.

-Move out, guys.

-Let's line it up.

All right,

so we're now entering

hour four of patrol.

We haven't seen

a single civilian,

we haven't seen

anything at all, actually.

Guess I can understand

why these guys say

this is such

a boring mission.

At least it's not

so hot anymore though.

Just tired from carrying around

this equipment all day.

I know it's been a rough one

for you, Geraldo,

but when we get back to base,

I'm gonna give you

the f***ing best hand job

you've ever had in Afghanistan.

- Oh, stop.

- Ask butch.

- He f***ing felt it.

- F*** you.

Everybody down!

-Sh*t.

-Anybody hit?

Montgomery, mills,

take security.

Everybody else,

on my command,

- Fan out against

that cover there!

Ready, go!

Move, move, move, move!

Geraldo, stick with me,

goddamn it.

Right here, right here

on the ground.

Right there.

What the f***?

Montgomery, mills, fall in!

-Engage!

-F***!

Were you hit?

Motherf***er,

i got nothing.

-How about you?

-I don't see sh*t.

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