Christmas Vacation Page #2

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Word is you're an excellent choice to be

named Additive Designer of the Year.

- Get outta town.

- I'm not kidding.

What's that new thing you got

at Food and Drug?

Oh, the crunch enhancer?

Yeah, it's a non-nutritive cereal varnish.

It's semipermeable, not osmatic.

It coats and seals the flake...

- ...prevents the milk from penetrating it.

- Yeah.

- It's a beautiful product.

- I like it, yeah.

The question is,

what will you do with that bonus?

- Gonna blow it on yourself, I hope.

- Me? Oh hell no.

Take a look at this.

I hope my Christmas bonus check

will cover it.

Oh, my God, you're putting in a pool.

I went ahead and I put a $7500

deposit down on it.

You're the last true family man.

- Mark.

- Clark.

That's Bill, sir.

Were you working on that

non-nutritive cereal varnish?

- Yes, sir.

- I gotta give a speech to a trade group.

I'd like to mention it. Write a summary

and have it to me by the end of the day.

I'd like to mention it. Write a summary

and have it to me by the end of the day.

- My pleasure.

- Layman's terms.

None of that inside bullshit jargon

nobody understands.

Yes, sir.

Oh, Mr. Shirley. We got

your Christmas card the other day...

...and my family and I are very flattered

that you remembered us.

Corporate cards.

- Don't forget that report, Bill.

- Yes, sir. Thank you. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass.

Happy Hanukkah.

Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass.

Happy Hanukkah.

Can I show you something?

I was just smelling-- Smiling.

I was just blouse-- Browsing.

I was just smelling-- Smiling.

I was just blouse-- Browsing.

For your wife or your girlfriend?

What? What happened?

I guess it wouldn't be any--

Wouldn't be the Christmas shopping

season if stores were less hooter--

Hotter than they are.

- It is warm in here.

- You have your coat on.

- Yes. Oh, do I? How did that happen?

- Because it's cold out.

Yes. Yes. It is. It's a bit nipply out.

I mean, nippy out.

What did I say, nipple?

- There is a nip in the air though.

- Can I take something out for you?

I was just.... I was just looking

at something for my wife.

I was just.... I was just looking

at something for my wife.

- God rest her soul.

- Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

Oh, no, no, she's not dead.

We're just divorced. She's history.

Oh, no, no, she's not dead.

We're just divorced. She's history.

Obviously she doesn't wear underwear.

There are plenty of shopping days left...

...until adultery-- Adulthood.

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