Christmas in July Page #2

How Many Peanuts In The Window contest.

That doubled my chances...

- They put boxes under the peanuts.

They didn't ask how many boxes

under the peanuts. They said...

'How many peanuts are in the window?'

- So I lost.

That doubled my chances on the

You Fill In The Missing Words contest.

But you lost that one too.

- Fine.

I was eight to one in the limerick contest.

- But you didn't win it, Jimmy.

That's what makes it a cinch this time.

Can't you see it over there in lights?

The guy swallows his coffee, and it says,

'If you don't sleep at night,

it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk.'

That's some slogan.

- Mm-hm.

Do you get the point?

Do you understand what it means?

Yes...

- What do you mean, yes?

It's clear as crystal.

'It isn't the coffee, it's the bunk.'

If you don't sleep at night, it isn't the coffee

that keeps you awake, it's the bunk.

The bunk when you don't sleep.

- I know. I've heard it a thousand times.

I just don't understand it.

- Maybe you don't try to.

Maybe I don't.

- A kid of two could understand that.

This Viennese doctor says

that whole idea's just a superstition,

that instead of keeping you awake,

coffee makes you sleep.

It's simple. Coffee makes you sleep.

- It doesn't make me sleep.

He's a Viennese doctor.

- Coffee keeps you awake.

Why are you so pig-headed about it?

I'm not trying to contradict you...

It's the new scientific theory.

It's the basis of my slogan.

People who think coffee keeps them awake

are nervous wrecks anyway...

...so why blame it on the coffee?

So I say, 'If you don't sleep at night,

it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk.'

Do you get it?

- I guess so.

You guess so. What does it mean?

- It's the bunk.

Yes, but do you get the play on words?

- You don't need a play on words.

Any time anybody says

coffee makes you sleep, it's bunk.

Don't you understand? It's funny.

People are going to laugh.

It means it isn't the coffee

that keeps you awake, it's the bed.

With me it's the coffee.

- Oh...

I want you to win it.

I'm just as anxious as you are.

And when you lose this

one, think how much...

...better your chances will be on the next.

Fine chance I've got of winning anything

if everybody says coffee keeps you awake.

Let's drink a gallon of coffee

and see who sleeps the longest.

Oh, shut up.

- (Woman) Jimmy.

Jimmy.

Yes, ma'am.

Mr. Zimmerman says

will you not talk so loud?

He's trying to go to sleep.

- Tell him to drink a cup of coffee.

And don't take cold up there.

Is Betty warm enough?

Yes, thank you, Mrs. MacDonald.

- All right, dear.

I'd like you just as much

if you didn't win the old contest.

That's because you're a sap.

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