Chris Rock: Bigger & Blacker Page #2

'cause his mama's out

getting the groove on.

You know how dumb you got to be...

to get left back in the first grade?

''What's four plus four?'' ''Jell-O.''

But that ain't his fault.

That's the mama's fault.

That's the mama's f***ing fault. That's right.

l'm telling my cousin,

''Tina, talk to your f***ing kid.

''Talk to him, teach him some sh*t.

''lf you said more words to him than,

'Mommy be back'...

''he might know something.''

That's right.

And it's real easy to tell

who kids are gonna be f***ed up.

lt don't take no scientist to tell

who's gonna have some f***ed-up kids.

lf the kid calls his grandmamma ''Mommy''...

and his mama ''Pam,'' he's going to jail.

You ain't saving no college money,

you saving bail money.

That money's going to Johnnie Cochran.

That's right.

lf the kid can't read, that's Mama's fault.

That is Mama's f***ing fault.

Now, if the kid can't read

'cause there ain't no lights in the house...

that's Daddy's fault.

You got this sh*t down?

See, nobody gives a f*** about Daddy.

There's some real daddies out there.

l'm not talking about the guy

that f***ed you and left.

F*** him, okay?

l'm talking about the real daddies.

There's still some motherfuckers out there

that handle their business.

Motherfuckers wanna act like brothers....

There's some brothers

that handle their business.

'Cause people don't give a f***....

Nobody gives a f*** about Daddy.

Everybody takes Daddy for granted.

Just listen to the radio.

Everything's ''Mama. Dear Mama.

Always loved my Mama.''

What's the Daddy song?

Papa was a Rollin' Stone.

Nobody gives a f***.

Nobody appreciates Daddy.

Now, Mama's got the roughest job.

l ain't gonna front.

But at least people appreciate Mama.

Every time Mama do something right,

Mama gets a compliment...

'cause women need to hear compliments

all the time.

Women need food, water, and compliments.

That's right.

And an occasional pair of shoes.

That's right. Women got to hear it

all the time, or they lose their minds.

And get Daddy to make sure

you thank your mama for everything.

''Tell your mama how good the food is.

Tell her how nice the house looks.

''Tell your mama how nice her hair looks.

''Did you tell your mama?

You better go in there and tell your mama.''

That's right! ''Tell your mama.''

Nobody ever tells Daddy sh*t.

l'm talking about the real daddies

that handle their f***ing business.

Nobody ever says, ''Hey, Daddy,

thanks for knocking out this rent.''

''Hey, Daddy, l sure love this hot water.''

''Hey, Daddy,

this is easy to read with all this light.''

Nobody gives a f*** about Daddy.

l'm talking about a daddy that handles his

business. Nobody gives a f*** about Daddy.

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