Cheech and Chong's The Corsican Brothers Page #2

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I...

I got captured by gypsies.

And...

And...

they took me to Mexico.

You're lyin'.

You got lost, didn't you?

-I didn't get lost.

-You did!

The gypsies captured me.

I've been living

in Mexico all this time!

You look great!

But--but you look so...

so Mexican!

Well, yeah!

I'm a big landowner there now.

They call me Don Luis.

Except for when I'm mad,

they call me Crab Luis!

It's a Mexican joke.

You look...

You look terrible.

What's going on around here?

Where is everybody?

We've fallen into terrible times

since you left, my brother.

Evil men rule the country.

All our people...

are either dead or in jail.

These evil men, they...

they raped the fields

and pillaged the women.

That's evil men.

Indeed, there were

only two things...

a French peasant

could count on...

death and taxes.

And given the sometimes

overzealous methods...

of the tax collectors,

one often preceded the other.

It's good to be

back in the woods.

It's so peaceful.

It's poison oak, my brother.

Hey, brother!

Hello--

You would've been dead, buddy.

What are you doing?

Practicing for the revolution.

With a potato?

But not just a potato.

Look at this.

Get down!

What was that?

A bomb de terre!

In back of every murderous deed,

was the evil Fuckaire.

My little Poofter, eh?

You must not soil your

delicate little paws...

with this dirty

peasant, eh, Poofter?

We know what

he has been doing, eh?

He has been stealing a log

from the royal forest.

He tell it is for his oven

to warm his starving children.

Mon dieu, if you believe that

you'll believe something, eh?

I know what it is for.

It is to make weapons...

and he should know that weapons

are forbidden in my kingdom.

Or, at least,

the Queen's kingdom.

Or so she thinks, eh?

Oh, my lovely little Poofter,

give me a kiss.

Mon dieu!

Halitosis, eh?

My friend, you see we are

so considerate...

to you dirty peasants.

We have brought your wife

to join you for company.

Are you sitting comfortably?

You are?

We can't have that.

Stretch his legs wider.

You ever had a taco?

No, I guess they don't

have tacos in France.

I remember one time

this restaurant...

I used to work--I mean, own...

they had a contest to see

who could eat the most.

I ate 143.

And I was still hungry...

but they had to close

the restaurant.

I'm so hungry I could

eat a bowl of lard...

with a hair in it.

Here, puppy!

I want to journey

but not too fa--

Mon dieu!

My God...

I have been hit with sh*t.

Allez! Vite, vite!

Poofter, did you see what hap--

Poofter!

My God, where is

my little Poofter?

Oh, I mustn't lose my Poofter!

Excuse me, I am so sorry

to bother you...

when you are so busy,

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