Chatterbox Live Page #3

Synopsis: Recorded in London earlier this year, Chatterbox Live invites you to enter the wonderful world of Sarah Millican--where living alone drives your parents to put you on suicide watch; where a...
Director(s): Brian Klein
 
IMDB:
7.7
Year:
2011
100 min
114 Views


Look at his little face.

When I was about seven, I had a little dog,

and I loved it so much!

Have you ever stroked a dog so hard

you could see the whites of its eyes?

When you stroke along its back, its little

back legs buckle cos of the pressure.

I do worry about my boyfriend.

Cos I love him so much.

Love him so much!

Look at his little face!

Is spunk supposed to be red? No.

That's a great reaction.

The women are laughing

and the blokes are going,

"Don't do that. That's not f***ing funny. "

Now is probably quite a good time to tell you

that I'm a lot ruder than I am on the telly.

So brace yourselves.

I tend to feel guilty as well.

The thing I feel guilty about the most at the

moment is the fact that I don't give blood.

Give us a cheer if you give blood

on a regular basis.

A few. Could always be more.

I think it's the marketing that's to blame

cos I heard the advert on the radio,

and the advert goes like this -

"Would you like to save a life?"

And I thought...

"Not really bothered.

"Do I know them?"

But I've heard that you get

a half-hour sit-down. Is that right?

Yeah, and you get a cup of tea,

is that right?

- Yeah, and a biscuit.

- Oh. "Biscuit.

"Did you know about the biscuits?"

Who said biscuits?

Where are you, love?

Nice lady there.

What kind of biscuits?

What's the best biscuit

that they have at your place?

- Bourbons.

- Yeah!

Bourbons, and somebody

in the middle went, "Yeah!"

Got a big Bourbon fan in tonight.

So can anybody do...

The Bourbon's pretty good.

Can anybody do better than a Bourbon

at their blood place?

- Club biscuits.

- Who said that? Where are you, fella?

Hello, fella. Do they have a variety of

Club biscuits or just the one flavor?

- I just go for the orange ones.

- You just go for the orange ones.

You're not a hero at all, are you?

You're just going for the free orange Clubs.

Excellent. Are we gonna get any better

than an orange Club? I don't know.

Who? What was that?

- Party Rings.

- Party Rings.

Are you nine?

Do they... Are they fanned out,

like on a plate, all fancy?

That's what I'd want.

Jelly and ice cream as well. That would...

Party Rings.

I haven't had a Party Ring in years.

Can anybody do better

than Party Rings or orange Clubs?

No, that's it. They've got no...

Sorry, I could...

I could compete with the lady

with the Bourbon,

but I'm f***ed against the orange Clubs.

This is the sort of thing that we need

to know. This should be in the advert.

The advert shouldn't be,

"Would you like to save a life?"

The advert should be...

"Do you like sitting down?"

"Bloody love sitting down. "

"Do you like cups of tea?"

"I love cups of tea. "

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Sarah Millican

Sarah Jane Millican (née King; born 29 May 1975) is an English comedian. Millican won the if.comedy award for Best Newcomer at the 2008 Edinburgh Festival Fringe. In February 2013 she was listed as one of the 100 most powerful women in the United Kingdom by Radio 4's Woman's Hour, and in the same year married fellow comedian Gary Delaney. Her first book, How to Be Champion, was released in 2017, and Millican has performed on various tours mainly throughout the United Kingdom over the years. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Chatterbox Live" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/chatterbox_live_5367>.

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