Chalet Girl Page #3

- Friends, breakfast, check.

Three, no sleeping with the clients.

Unless they're fit. Or minted.

Or hitting on you.

- Basically, there's only two rules.

- Basically, yeah.

We're just going to get

the essentials for now.

Right, so shall I go and get the veg?

Six tins of caviar, please. Beluga.

Caviar, right. Of course.

I'm more front-of-house type,

you're more back office.

Because I know how to talk to them.

Yeah, I don't speak much posh.

Dropped it after GCSEs.

- Do you want to prep the veg?

-I live to prep veg.

Right, carrots,

we've got a big game coming up.

I want to see each and every one of you

giving 110 per cent.

Are you done?

Yeah. I thought you said

they landed at five.

I did. But the pilot called.

They ran into some headwind.

Oh, right... The who called?

- (girl) God, he's here already.

- (Kim) Who?

(girl) The owners' all-round ski guide,

fixer and gimp.

Kim, meet the very handsome,

very powerful Bernhardt.

- You're late.

- Did I mention very charming too?

- Is this the new Hausmdchen?

- Hi.

Hey, welcome!

- So, who is everyone?

- Oh, you'll figure it out.

You know, you're going to have to stop

being so helpful all the time.

Rule three. Anyway, he's taken.

- Turned you down, did he?

- No.

So, what's the deal?

How do I, you know, talk to them?

You don't talk to them.

You don't look them directly in the eye.

- And curtsey when you meet them.

- Oh.

- Alright, needle cock?

- You old slapper.

- You OK down there?

- Yeah, yeah, just... stretching.

- Right. Is this the new helper?

- Er, something like that.

Hi, rm Kim.

Jonny. And I don't actually have

a needle cock.

- He did when he was ten.

- Hey.

I'm so excited to be back! Hi!

- Hey, Chloe.

- How are you?

- This is Milly's replacement, Kate.

- Kim.

This heartbreaker is her brother Nigel.

- Nigel. The famous Nigel.

- He really does have a tiny cock.

Hey, it's not what you got,

it's about where you put it in...

Please ignore him.

This is my dad Richard,

"Call me Dickie."

Are you following this?

- Dad, this is Kim.

- Call me Dickie.

Thank you for stepping in.

Just do whatever Georgie does.

Except that thing with her chin.

- We liked that, didn't we?

- That was a one-off.

- Speaking of one-offs...

- Hey!

Hello.

This is my wife Caroline.

Who apparently has a throat infection.

- Help us with the bags?

- Ah, yes.

- Ahem.

- Give her a chance.

I didn't say anything.

(Georgie) And lovingly topped off

with gravy, Ia me.

Back office.

Wouldn't want to steal your thunder

with the sprouts.

Oh, brilliant. Look at that!

(all exclaim)

Ibble dibble number one, with 12 ibble

dibbles calls ibble dibble number...

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