Cats Page #4

There's probably curry

At the Siamese or at the Glutton

If I look full of gloom

Then I've lunched at the Tomb

On cabbage, rice pudding

And mutton

In the whole of St James's

The smartest of names is

The name of this Brummell of cats

And we're all of us proud

To be nodded or bowed to

By Bustopher Jones in white

Bustopher Jones in white

Bustopher Jones in white spats

So much in this way

Passes Bustopher's day

At one club or another he's found

It can be no surprise

That under our eyes

He has grown unmistakably round

He's a twenty-five pounder

Or I am a bounder

And he's putting on weight

Every day

But I'm so well-preserved

Because I've observed

All me life a routine, and I'd say

I am still in me prime

I shall last out me time

That's the word

From this stoutest of cats

It must and it shall

Be spring in Pall Mall

While Bustopher Jones wears white

Bustopher Jones wears white

Bustopher Jones

Wears white spats

Toodlepip!

(THUNDER ROLLS)

(POLICE SIREN)

Macavity!

(CAR BRAKES SCREECH)

(CAR ACCELERATES AWAY)

- (WOMAN LAUGHS)

- Shh!

(WOMAN LAUGHS)

Mungojerrie

And Rumpleteazer

We're a notorious couple of cats

As knockabout clowns

Quick-change comedians

Tightrope walkers and acrobats

We have an extensive reputation

We make our home in Victoria Grove

This is merely our centre

Of operation

For we are incurably given to rove

When the family assembles

For Sunday dinner

Their minds made up

That they won't get thinner

On Argentine joint

Potatoes and greens

And the cook would appear

From behind the scenes

And say in a voice

That is broken with sorrow

"I'm afraid you must wait

And have dinner tomorrow

"The joint has gone

From the oven like that!"

Then the family will say

"It's that horrible cat!

"Was it Mungojerrie

Or Rumpleteazer!"

And most of the time

They leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer

Have a wonderful way

Of working together

And some of the time

You would say it was luck

And some of the time

You would say it was weather

We'd go through the house

Like a hurricane

And no sober person

Could take his oath

Was it Mungojerrie

Or Rumpleteazer?

Or could you have sworn

That it might have been both?

And when you hear

A dining room smash

Or up from the pantry

There comes a loud crash

Or down from the library

Came a loud ping

From a vase which was commonly

Said to be Ming

Then the family will say

"Now which was which cat?"

It was Mungojerrie

And Rumpleteazer

And there's nothing at all

To be done about that

And there's nothing at all

To be done about that

Old Deuteronomy?

I believe it is Old Deuteronomy

Well, of all things

Can it be really?

Yes! No! Ho! Hi!

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