Casanova Brown Page #2

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and into Canada.

No use, J.J.

This is the day before my wedding.

And I refuse to be demoralized

by a cold-blooded, old sinner like you

so whatever you got to say,

you're just wasting your breath.

They cut my allowance again today.

Down to $25.

Good.

The shape of things to come, my boy.

Oh, rot.

Where else could you get $25 a week

just by sitting around

developing stomach ulcers?

Great Scott, man!

On the honeymoon,

before she called those lawyers in on me,

I frequently paid as much for a copy

of The Saturday Evening Post.

Come in.

- Good morning, Mr. Ferris.

- Good morning.

Isn't he the happy one, though?

Yes, under a democracy, Mrs. Smith,

every individual enjoys

the right and privilege

of being as much of an imbecile

as he pleases.

Thank goodness for that, Mr. Ferris.

It's a wonderful government we have here

in America and that's the truth.

- Yes.

- Just ads, it looks like.

- My blue suit, remember.

- Be back tonight.

- See you in church.

- Yes.

Thunderation!

- Now this is going just a bit too far.

- What is?

Are you planning already to have a family?

Would you object to minding

your own business for just a few minutes?

This is my business!

How many grandchildren he has

is every man's business.

And if you're negotiating already

with a maternity hospital...

What?

Let's see that.

Some men say they can't have

too many grandchildren.

But I'm one that can.

- Don't you know an ad when you see one?

- Ad?

They've got a nerve.

Soliciting a man's business

before he's even married.

Sounds unethical to me.

"Dear Mr. Brown... "

Well, this is rather

a sinister method of solicitation.

"Dear Mr. Brown,

a matter of personal importance

"and one which I would rather not

be obliged to take up in correspondence,

"unless you prefer it. "

I... I was involved in a little

blackmail accident at one time.

Letter sounded exactly like this.

"I suggest that

at your earliest convenience,

"certainly not later

than the end of the week,

"you call up the hospital

and consult with me.

"Cordially yours, Martha Zernerke, M.D."

Let me see that.

Have you been in

or around Chicago recently?

No.

Not...

Not Chicago.

Now, will you get ready, please?

Everybody.

That's right.

Never mind that now.

Even if it was a mistake,

how did they get your address?

I don't know anything about it.

You didn't write to them,

asking prices or anything like that?

No, of course not.

They're waiting for you, Mr. Ferris.

- Who?

- Madge and Mrs. Ferris, out front.

Not for me. My nose is perfectly clean.

I told them from the beginning...

Go, will you, and find out what they want.

Very well, but they're not going to

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