Carry on Jack Page #2

in a place like this.

The man said

it was an old custom, you see.

I just came in here to meet a...

To have a bit of...

I know. You men are all alike.

We're supposed to be, aren't we?

Get out of here

while you're still in one piece.

I think I'd better, actually.

We're sailing tomorrow

and I haven't reported aboard yet.

- Wait a minute.

- Hm?

- Are you on the Venus?

- Yes.

I'm the new Midshipman.

Poop-Decker's my name.

Albert Poop-Decker.

And you haven't even

reported aboard yet?

I did try earlier

but there was nobody there.

Well, I'm certainly glad to have met you,

Midshipman Poop-Decker.

Yes. Well, I'm very pleased

to have met you also.

- What's your hurry, darling?

- Eh?

You don't want to go

without a little bit of...

- You-know-what?

- That's right.

Let's go somewhere nice and quiet,

shall we?

Oh!

Well, I don't have to carry you up, do I?

Come in, Albert.

What's the matter?

I was just remembering.

Before I left home, my mother warned me

that things like this might happen.

I must write and thank her.

My mother always told me to be good.

I hope I am.

You'd tell me, wouldn't you, Albert?

Haven't you ever been alone

with a girl before?

No, but I know what to do.

- Are you sure?

- Oh, yes.

Well, then,

let's get comfortable, shall we?

Of course.

There... that's better.

- What lovely, curly hair you've got.

- Thank you.

I get it from my mother, actually.

She's got curls all over...

Close your eyes,

you naughty Midshipman.

I'll tell you when you can open them.

Keep your eyes tightly closed, Albert.

I'm sorry, Albert.

I would've been good, I promise you.

It's the press! The press-gang, lads!

Round the back.

Come on.

Somebody must've warned them.

Evening, friend.

Hello.

Are you a sailor?

Who, me? No!

I'm a cesspit cleaner.

I wondered why

there wasn't anybody else about.

Wouldn't you like to go to sea, friend?

Like to go to see what?

Never mind.

- Sign the gentleman on, Mr Angel.

- Aye aye, sir.

Can I open them now?

Where are my clothes?

We need just one more this trip.

Let's try upstairs.

Ssh!

Get down.

Lady Hamilton, I presume.

Oh, no, I'm not a lady.

I'm not even a woman.

I know what you're not, don't you worry.

I just came in here to meet a...

- Well, to have a bit of...

- Mm-hm?

Then this girl took me upstairs

and she kissed me

and she told me

to close my eyes like this...

Really?

...and not to open them until she said.

- You don't say?

- Mm.

- Then what happened?

- I really don't know, sir.

Close them again, friend,

and let me see if I can help you.

- Like this, sir?

- That's right.

I wonder what it could have been

that happened. Something like this?

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