Carry On Henry Page #2

But don't upset yourself, sire.

Pray be seated. Have a goblet of wine.

I tell you, it will make your spirits rise.

Ineed more than wine

to make anything rise now, I can tell you.

Nonsense, sire. Come! Drink!

And it is rather a special one.

- What did she say?

- No.

- No!

- She refuses to give it up.

Refuses? That settles it. Get her annulled.

- An old what, sire?

- Annul the marriage, you fool!

Oh, I'm afraid that would be

out of the question, Your Majesty.

- The Pope would be livid.

- What's it got to do with him?

When this match was announced, he declared

it would be very bad for a man to have six wives.

How would he know? He's never tried it.

If I may be permitted to make a suggestion,

Your Grace?

This is no time to get suggestive,

Sir Roger.

I was merely going to say,

if she refuses to give it up,

you could take preventative measures

against the unpleasant odour.

Are you suggesting that I, the greatest monarch

that England has ever known,

should stoop to stuffing cotton wool

up my hooter?

Nothing so drastic, sire.

But I happen to know

that if one also eats the garlic,

the smell is unnoticeable.

Do you mean me give in to her?

Never! Never! Not on your nelly.

No. I've made up my mind. Annul the marriage.

But the only way a marriage can be annulled

is if they haven't, you know...

Yes, yes, come on, spit it out.

To put it bluntly, sire,

did you consume it?

Did I what?

Consume it.

Has the marriage been consumed?

I fancy he means consummated, sire.

The verb "consume" means to eat.

That's all you know. In my dictionary,

it's to eat or to have a nibble.

- Not that kind of nibble, you great fat ape!

- You steamin' great...

Shut up, the two of you! The answer is no.

I have neither eaten, consumed or had a nibble.

So just you make absolutely sure

you get rid of her by the time I get back.

But wait, wait.

Your Majesty's going somewhere?

- Yes, hunting.

- Oh, nice. What for?

Something to eat. I'm starving. Ha, ha!

This is terrible, terrible.

I cannot risk disfavour with the Vatican again.

Nor I with France.

Marie is their king's favourite cousin.

It would seem we must unite, my lord,

to keep this marriage alive.

- Of course, but how?

- By procrastination.

What? If he has that,

he'll never be able to have an issue.

Oh, dear! You really must get

another dictionary, Cardinal.

(Hunting horn and hounds barking)

(Knock on door)

It's only me.

Oh, I thought it might be the King.

Alas, madam, he's been called out

on state business.

I just popped in to see if there was...

anything you wanted.

Oh, yes, there is, Sir Roger.

But I doubt if you could supply it.

Oh, no!

Oh!

What a delightful odour.

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