Carry on Girls Page #2

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I'll get this number for you while I'm waiting.

Hoyah-mm!

Get off! Hoya... shoom!

All right, I'll do it myself.

- Gorblimey!

- I'm only doing my best, that's all.

Give me that thing! What's the matter with you?

Give me the book. Thank you.

01-754-3230.

(Phone rings)

Potter Publicity Bureau.

To whom do you wish to speak?

Hello, Paula. Sid here, Sid Fiddler.

How are you?

- Oh, very well, thank you.

- You haven't changed. Is Peter there?

It's that terrible man Sidney Fiddler.

You don't want to talk to him, do you?

- I'd better.

- You know what he's like.

- He may have something for me.

- If it's like the last time, you'll need bailing out.

I can handle him. Hello, Sid?

- Hello, Pete. How's business?

- Great, great.

I've got a job here

you'd love to get your teeth into.

- What is it? He's got a job for me!

- I can imagine.

I want you to do the publicity

for a beauty contest here in Fircombe.

A beauty contest... What, you mean girls?

I don't mean budgerigars.

Oh, I don't know. I don't think Paula would

like me getting mixed up with a lot of girls.

- Why not?

- Well, we're engaged.

And you know how jealous Paula can be.

Just think of all those lovely 38s and 40s

bobbling up and down.

I am. Phwoar!

Sounds an interesting assignment, Sid,

putting Fircombe on the map.

Writing about local trade figures

and that sort of thing.

- Oh, she's come back into the office, has she?

- What's the job worth?

100, in round figures.

And there'll be plenty of those, I promise you.

100?

- It could be more. I'm on the council.

- I think I'd better come down, Sid.

That's my boy.

Don't take any of that old guff from Paula.

If she doesn't like it, tell her she can lump it.

That's how to deal with women, treat 'em rough.

Hello, sweetheart. I didn't see you.

Obviously. I'd like to see you, Sidney...

right away.

Ah, that's it.

Mrs Philpotts wants to see you right away.

- Thank you, Willy.

- I knew I'd get it.

And how's my favourite little hotel keeper today?

Hungry... very hungry.

- So would I be if I had to eat here.

- But I haven't eaten.

- Are you on a diet again?

- No, you had asked me out to lunch.

Oh. Blimey, so I did. I'm sorry, love.

I've had a very busy day.

I've been in it right up to here.

So I see.

That's it. Great idea, isn't it?

Oh, for you, I'm sure it is.

No, I did it mainly for you, darling.

For me? Oh, really?

You've got a hotel. Just think of all the people

this will bring into town.

You'll be packed out.

And the beauty contestants will stay here.

Of course, I hadn't thought of that.

Now, that was very clever of you, Sidney.

You know me, love. Anything for you.

Anything but marriage.

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