Carry on England Page #2

Synopsis: Captain S. Melly takes over as the new Commanding Officer at an experimental mixed sex air defence base. It's 1940 and England is under heavy bombardment, but the crew seem more interested in each other than the enemy planes above. Captain Melly plans to put a stop to all this, and becomes the target of a campaign to abandon his separatist ideals...
 
IMDB:
3.6
NOT RATED
Year:
1976
89 min
258 Views


Well... you seem to have put your foot in it.

Not so much my foot, sir. More my big toe.

What's wrong with it?

Sprained it, sir, didn't I?

When I... erm... fell out of bed.

- Pushed out of bed more like!

- Pushed out?

- (Both giggle)

- What are you laughing at?

Well, I'm happy, sir.

Happy? What, here?

He might have sprained something else,

mightn't he?

- Are you trying to be funny, Gunner?

- Me, sir?

You, sir. Why are you blinking like that?

- I'm not blinking, sir. You are.

- I never blink.

- Neither do I, sir.

- You blinking well do!

Sergeant Major, which one of us two

is blinking here?

There is only one blinking man blinking here,

Gunner, and that's bloody you!

Thank you, Sergeant Major.

And if I catch you again on parade

wearing my moustache... that moustache,

you'll be on charge for impersonating an officer.

Ooooh!

Later, sir. Later.

Who are you?

- Easy, sir.

- Quite possibly. What's your name?

That is it, sir. Alice Easy.

Oh.

Well, do your top button up.

I can't. They won't let me.

- Who? Who won't let you?

- Them.

Oh, nonsense. Do 'em up... erm... it up.

Good gracious me!

Stand to attention, you're on parade!

Put those shoulders back!

Oh, I do hope you're regular, sir.

Regular?

- I've been regular for 18 years.

- Oh, good.

- That means I can have it back tomorrow.

- (Swallows hard)

- You'll have it back when I'm ready.

- That's all right.

No need to strain yourself.

You are a shower!

A shambling shower!

And I mean to shake you up

more than somewhat!

- Sergeant Major?

- Hah!

Dismiss this shambling shower from my sight.

Hah!

Parade! Right turn!

As you were! As you were!

You stupid f...

How is I expected to use the proper words

with women present?

Never mind. Never mind.

Just f...

Forget it.

Go away.

(Stomach gurgles)

Ah, yes, sir. They gives me a headache too.

It's not a headache. It's the stomach.

There's a button in it.

What you might now call a belly button, sir.

Hee-hee hee-hee!

Oh, shut up!

20 year I've been a sergeant major

and nobody told me to shut up before.

I is the person what tells people to shut up, sir...

- Shut up!

- Hah!

Now, Sergeant Major,

what, in your opinion, is the thing most

calculated to make things hot for this shower?

Well?

What's the matter with you, man?

Have you been struck dumb?

- I asked you a question.

- Sir.

- Have I got permission to break the silence?

- Of course you have.

Very well, sir. Kindly repeat the question.

I repeat, what in your opinion, is the thing most

calculated to make things hot for this shower?

- Only one thing in my book, sir.

- Yes. Yes.

- Firing squad.

- Ah, yes. That's it.

What sort of a suggestion is that,

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David Pursall

David spent his early life in Erdington (England), the son of an accountant; he was always interested in writing and had two murder mystery novels published by the time he was sixteen. So, on leaving school, he took an apprenticeship as a journalist and became a reporter working on a local Birmingham newspaper. His ambition was to move to London to work on a national newspaper but with the threat of war looming, he joined the Royal Service Voluntary Reserve of the Fleet Air Arm as a trainee pilot before taking an officer's course at The Greenwich Naval College. During the Second World War he spent the first three years flying, winning a DSC for bravery and then transferred to the Admiralty Press Division. It was whilst he was stationed in Sydney that he met Captain Anthony Kimmins, the well-known broadcaster on naval affairs, who inspired him to work in the film industry. In 1947, settling in London, he eventually landed a post as Publicity Director for The Rank Organization and, in collaboration with the iconic portrait photographer Cornel Lucas, handled the press relations for Rank film stars, some of those he mentioned include : Jean Simmons, Petula Clark, Diana Dors, Joan Collins, Jill Ireland and Brigitte Bardot. In 1956, he joined forces with long term writing partner Jack Seddon, basing full time at Pinewood Studios, initially writing a script from his own idea Tomorrow Never Comes (1978). However, the plot was considered too provocative at that time and it was whilst trying to interest producers in this, that David and Jack were commissioned to write the script for Count Five and Die (1957); and it took twenty-one years' before Tomorrow Never Comes (1978), was made. Continuing later as a freelance film and TV scriptwriter, David worked mainly on war and murder mystery themes; his last movie made for TV was Black Arrow in 1985, a 15th century historical war drama. He worked constantly, and together with the titles listed, there were many more commissioned scripts, treatments, and original stories developed which never reached the sound stage. He also tried his hand at writing for the theatre, worked for a short time in Bollywood, took his tape recorder to the front line in Israel for a documentary on the Six Day War, and later became a Film and TV adviser; he also continued to write newspaper articles. David lived the good life; a popular, charismatic conversationalist, an idea's man, who enjoyed travelling the world circumnavigating twice, partying, theatergoing, watching night shooting at Pinewood Studios, finishing The Daily Telegraph cryptic crossword daily and driving fast cars; as well as helping the aspiring young achieve success in their careers in film and the media. Aged 69, he announced from his hospital bed, that as he'd written everything there was to write, it was his time to go. He left behind a devoted wife and a daughter. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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