Carry on England Page #2
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 1976
- 89 min
- 258 Views
Well... you seem to have put your foot in it.
Not so much my foot, sir. More my big toe.
What's wrong with it?
Sprained it, sir, didn't I?
When I... erm... fell out of bed.
- Pushed out of bed more like!
- Pushed out?
- (Both giggle)
- What are you laughing at?
Well, I'm happy, sir.
Happy? What, here?
He might have sprained something else,
mightn't he?
- Are you trying to be funny, Gunner?
- Me, sir?
You, sir. Why are you blinking like that?
- I'm not blinking, sir. You are.
- I never blink.
- Neither do I, sir.
- You blinking well do!
Sergeant Major, which one of us two
is blinking here?
There is only one blinking man blinking here,
Gunner, and that's bloody you!
Thank you, Sergeant Major.
And if I catch you again on parade
wearing my moustache... that moustache,
you'll be on charge for impersonating an officer.
Ooooh!
Later, sir. Later.
Who are you?
- Easy, sir.
- Quite possibly. What's your name?
That is it, sir. Alice Easy.
Oh.
Well, do your top button up.
I can't. They won't let me.
- Who? Who won't let you?
- Them.
Oh, nonsense. Do 'em up... erm... it up.
Good gracious me!
Stand to attention, you're on parade!
Oh, I do hope you're regular, sir.
Regular?
- I've been regular for 18 years.
- Oh, good.
- That means I can have it back tomorrow.
- (Swallows hard)
- You'll have it back when I'm ready.
- That's all right.
No need to strain yourself.
You are a shower!
A shambling shower!
And I mean to shake you up
more than somewhat!
- Sergeant Major?
- Hah!
Dismiss this shambling shower from my sight.
Hah!
Parade! Right turn!
As you were! As you were!
You stupid f...
How is I expected to use the proper words
with women present?
Never mind. Never mind.
Just f...
Forget it.
Go away.
(Stomach gurgles)
Ah, yes, sir. They gives me a headache too.
It's not a headache. It's the stomach.
There's a button in it.
What you might now call a belly button, sir.
Hee-hee hee-hee!
Oh, shut up!
20 year I've been a sergeant major
and nobody told me to shut up before.
I is the person what tells people to shut up, sir...
- Shut up!
- Hah!
Now, Sergeant Major,
what, in your opinion, is the thing most
calculated to make things hot for this shower?
Well?
What's the matter with you, man?
Have you been struck dumb?
- I asked you a question.
- Sir.
- Have I got permission to break the silence?
- Of course you have.
Very well, sir. Kindly repeat the question.
I repeat, what in your opinion, is the thing most
calculated to make things hot for this shower?
- Only one thing in my book, sir.
- Yes. Yes.
- Firing squad.
- Ah, yes. That's it.
What sort of a suggestion is that,
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"Carry on England" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/carry_on_england_5120>.
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