Carry on Cruising

Synopsis: Captain Crowther's lot is not a happy one! Five of his crew have to be replaced and at such short notice before the voyage begins there isn't much to choose from. Not only does he get the five most incompetent shipmates ever to sail the seven seas, but the passengers turn out to be a rather strange bunch too. The SS Happy Wanderer will never be the same.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Production: HBO Video
89 min

from nothing to get where l am today.

But there are some copper-bottomed gentlemen

on the board

who still think it's dead wrong

for an H-dropper like me to be a ship's captain.

And they would scuttle me

if they had half a chance.

And that is why l have built this whole crew

round me, so they don't get the chance.

That is also why l get nervous

when l see new faces.

Your faces are new. So l'm nervous.

To me, you look like disaster on six legs.

Prove l'm wrong. That's all l ask.

- Clear?

- As day.

- As an X-ray.

- As soup.

- Who are you?

- Me, sir? Turner, sir.

- Turner?

- Turner, sir.

- What are you doing here?

- Head barman, sir.

You can't be head barman!

Angus is my head barman.

- Not any more, sir.

- Not any more?

They can't do this to me! Changing the barman?

lt's like ripping out the engine!

What has happened to Angus? Don't tell me

he got married and swore off the booze?

- How did you guess, sir?

- Oh, no. Not Angus.

He's the only one...

Do you know how to mix my favourite drink?

- What's that, sir?

- The Aberdeen Angus.

- No, but you've only got to tell me...

- But l can't tell you!

Only Angus knows it!

Didn't he tell you the secret?

Didn't he give you the recipe for the drink

that's got a kick like a steer?


The whole cruise...without an Aberdeen Angus

kicking about inside me. l'll go barmy!

Hello, hello! Well, this ain't the kitchen, is it?

- l should say not. lt's the Captain's night cabin.

- Oh! Cosy.

Distinctly cosy, yes.

Er... Do you know where the kitchen is?

Afraid not, sir. l'm a stranger round here myself.

Another new face? Poor fella.

(Chuckles) You'll cop the lot.

# Tiddly-pom-pom

Oh. Morning, sir.

Don't tell me. You're my new steward?

Lovell has broken his leg?

You've only done three trips.

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Norman Hudis

Norman Hudis (27 July 1922 – 8 February 2016) was an English writer for film, theatre and television, and is most closely associated with the first six of the Carry On... film series, for which he wrote the screenplays until he was replaced by Talbot Rothwell. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Carry on Cruising" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 14 Jul 2020. <>.

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