Carry on Camping Page #2

That's quite right. You see I've been bursting

to know what it's like inside a tent.

I see. All right, Miss Dobbin,

I'll attend to this customer.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Splendid girl, and so helpful.

Do you know, she's been showing me

how to stick the pole up!

- Quite.

(Cash register rings)

I take it you're interested in

purchasing equipment?

Oh, rather!

I've always been interested in camping.

But since I've never done it before,

I thought I'd go to the very best place for advice.

Quite so, sir, so you came here.

Well, yes, you see,

the best shop was closed.

I assure you, we supply everything essential

for a really successful camping holiday.

Oh, but I need everything!

Are you going alone, sir?

Why? Do you supply that, too?

This way, sir, please.

- Yes, of course.

(Cash register pings)

- Sid, let's get back to work.

- Oh, come on!

We're only going to ask

where this Paradise Camp is.

But they'll know it's nudist

and it'll be embarrassing.

What are you talking about?

Like going into a chemist's for something, finding

a girl serving, and coming out with toothpaste.

I wondered what you were doing

with all those tubes in your cupboard.

No. It's not that. Besides, you'll never get

Joan and Anth to go to a place like that.

- How long have we been taking them out?

- About three months.

- And where's it got us?

- I've kissed Anth.

- What did that lead to? She was sick.

- Because I'd been eating pickled onions.

We're lumbered with two birds with prohibitions.

You mean "inhibitions".

I mean "prohibitions". They just won't allow us.

All the same,

you can't take them to a place like that.

If we can get those two birds to Paradise Camp,

all that freedom, back to nature,

do you think they can keep on holding out?

Never.

- How will you get 'em to go there?

- Don't tell 'em. Come on.

No. Hold on a minute.

I can't go to a nudist place.

- Why not? Other people do.

- Maybe, but not people like us.

Have we got three legs or something?

It's not that.

- When I'm on holiday, I like to relax.

- So?

And when I relax,

I like to put my hands in my pockets.

You can relax with your hands behind

your back. Prince Philip does all right.

- Not with nothing on, he doesn't.

- How do you know?

You make it sound like it was something

shameful to go into a nudist camp.

It's the most healthy,

natural thing in the world.

Can I help you, sir?

Yes, as a matter of fact,

my mate and I were wondering if you could...

Yes?

Well, we were looking for...

Yes?

Er, a tube of toothpaste, please.

We don't sell toothpaste, sir.

Aspirins?

I'll take one of these, then.

See?

Here! That's it!

That's it! (Cackles)

Come on.

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