Carla's Song Page #3

Carla, look, you couldn't

stay here anyway, darling.

Look, come with me.

I'll take you someplace better than this.

I've got a pal and

he's got a flat,

and there's a room in his flat

and you can stay there.

It's a f***ing huge flat and he's got a big

room and you can have that, no rent.

I'll sort that out with Sammy.

You don't have to pay

any rent or anything.

Listen, it's a nice place, Carla,

you know?

Much better than here.

And we can go tonight.

Get you sorted out.

OK.

Aye, OK.

Right, just go up the stairs.

I hope Sammy's got milk.

- All right, man.

- All right, Sammy.

Er... Sammy, this is Carla.

Carla, Sammy.

In you go.

- What the f*** are you playing at?

- Not now.

Coast clear?

- What do you mean?

- Empty.

- Yeah.

- Good. Come on, Carla.

- I tell you what, sack your cleaner.

- Just can't get the staff.

Don't you worry, Carla.

We'll soon have this place tidied up.

You sit there, darling.

Sit there.

Get this fire on, heat you up.

I'll be back in a minute.

Come on.

- That'll be breakfast for three, then, aye?

- Don't jump to conclusions.

I'm not jumping to conclusions.

It's just...

You're auditioning bridesmaids?

Just thought you'd let the best man

have a wee say who's who.

No, it's Maureen's pen

pal just flown in, aye?

Who did she see? The groom to be,

number 72. There you are.

Oh, far be it for me

to jump to any...

For f***'s sake, Sammy.

It's no' like that. Ok?

It's just...

I don't know what the f*** it's about.

I'm just trying to help a lassie out.

That's all right.

There's some tea, Carla.

Thank you.

Listen, I had a word with Sammy and

you can stay here as long as you like.

Sammy's a good man.

Nicaragua...

is where I come from.

Nicaragua?

Right.

Did I hurt you?

Did you hurt me?

No, I've had a lot

worse than that.

- Are you sure?

- I'm sure.

Crazy guy.

Crazy dancer.

All right, doll.

F***ing stupid...

That's f***ing clever, mate.

Did you see that there?

See the way he pulled in like that?

- Are you blind?

- I had a f***ing indicator on!

Do you not use your mirrors?

I'm drivin' the f***in' bus!

You shouldn't pull into

a bus stop like that.

Check your bloody mirrors!

Why pull in?

The taxi's there.

I was pulling in past the bus stop.

Do you not use your mirrors?

I'm driving the f***ing bus.

Passengers could be walking off there.

- Never mind your passengers!

- F***ing sorry.

I'm asking for a bit of

professional courtesy.

- Passengers could walk in front.

- Never mind them. Look at my back light.

- Away to f***. You use your mirrors.

- Your punter's f***ed off.

You wee shite, get back here!

- You're paying for my back light.

- Let's try and catch him up.

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