Carjacked Page #2

Want to pull over there, please?

Okay. Oh man.

That's good.

Hey there, bud.

I'll be back in a jiffy.

It's gonna be all right.

Oh my God.

Yeah, it's Roy.

Did you make it there all right?

What?

F***.

God damn it.

Same sh*t happened to me.

There's roadblocks everywhere,

all over the goddamn place.

No, you stay there, all right?

It'll take me six hours.

I'll be there.

Stay there.

Yeah.

It's okay. All right.

Hey, bud, why don't you

hop in the back seat, all right?

Go ahead.

Get on in there. Yeah.

There you go.

Nice and clean.

Now we're one big,

happy family, huh?

Where are you taking us?

Well, it's more like

where you're taking me, huh?

You know how to find

the highway from here?

Um, I think so.

Do you know how to find the highway

from here? it's a simple question.

Yes, I do.

Sorry, I just...

my shrink tells me I have a hard time

dealing with ambiguity.

That means let's cut the maybes,

the I-don't-think-sos, the probablys.

You know what I mean?

- Mm-hmm.

- You understand?

I do. Actually it's really funny,

because my therapist says

that I am too ambiguous.

I am too ambiguous.

Let's just go to the highway.

Right.

Mommy.

Yeah, hon?

Are you crying again?

- Who's crying?

- Mommy's crying.

I'm not crying, honey.

I think you're right, buddy.

I think your mom is crying.

Now why are you crying?

Chad says you're crying again.

Why would he say that?

- What's your mom's name, bud?

- Lorraine.

Lorraine? Holy sh*t.

Mommy, Roy said "sh*t."

- Don't say "sh*t," honey.

- Now you said it.

I'm sorry. I apologize.

Lorraine... you know,

such a beautiful name.

I had a very special woman

in my life named Lorraine actually.

Really?

She had an intimate relationship

with my backside in my formative years...

yeah, her and her little

hickory stick.

Never mind there, buddy.

You wouldn't understand.

But that's my tale of woe.

We've all got 'em, right?

Yeah.

- It's a joke.

- What?

Lorraine, "backside, tail"...

- You get it? What's that called?

- Yeah yeah, I get it.

A pun.

- Huh?

- It's called a pun.

- A pun, yeah.

- Yeah.

You're right.

You've got a smart mama there, boy.

I hope she's a better mom

than mine was.

Mom wasn't nice to you, huh?

I'm sorry.

Just find the freeway, okay?

Yeah, okay.

Um, there's a roadblock.

- You see that?

- Yeah. Oh yeah.

And that's for little old me.

So I'm gonna turn around, okay?

No, I want you to do

what I tell you to do.

I want you to relax

and drive the car.

So why don't we be the nice little

happy fake family that we are?

And we'll go through smiling, okay?

Just relax.

Just drive.

Easy, Lorraine.

Evening, folks.

What's going on, Officer?

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