Butterflies Are Free Page #2

I know one thing:

I'm not going back to Hillsborough.

- What's Hillsborough?

- You don't know Hillsborough?

I don't know much about

any place up here.

I'm from Los Angeles.

I've never been north of the Big Sur.

Hillsborough is about 10 miles from here.

- Is that where you live?

- No.

- I live here. It's where I used to live.

- All right.

What did you say your name was?

Jill Tanner.

Technically, I guess I'm Mrs. Benson.

I was married once, when I was 16.

Sixteen?

How long were you married?

It seemed like weeks.

Actually, it was six days.

What was he like?

I'm sorry.

I really don't want to talk about it.

Then, don't. I'm sorry I asked.

No, I'll talk about him.

Once in a while you should do something...

you don't want to do.

It cleanses the insides.

Jack was wild-looking.

Sort of adolescent.

Girls mature faster than boys, don't they?

Anyway, we met

and it was like fireworks, rockets.

Every day was like Fourth of July.

Then, we were standing

before the justice of the peace...

getting married.

- How long had you known him?

- I don't know, two or three weeks.

But there we were, getting married.

And I wasn't even out of high school yet.

And I had two exams the next day,

and they were on my mind, too.

Then, I heard the justice of the peace say:

"Do you, Jack, take Jill

to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Can you imagine going through life

as Jack and Jill?

And then, I heard him say:

"Till death do us part."

Suddenly, it became more like

a funeral service then a wedding ceremony.

- Jesus!

- It was so morbid.

I hate anything morbid.

Why didn't you try to make your

marriage work?

I did.

I did. I tried for six days.

- But I knew it was a mistake.

- Were you in love with him?

- In my way.

- What's your way?

I don't know.

Just because you love someone

doesn't necessarily mean...

you want to spend

the rest of your life with them.

And Jack loved me.

I mean, he really loved me.

And I hurt him.

That's just what I can't stand.

I just never want to hurt anybody.

Marriage is a commitment, isn't it?

And I just can't be committed or involved.

Can you understand?

Yeah, I can understand, but I don't agree.

Well, then, you really don't understand.

I thought I was sloppy.

What do you mean?

Unless you know something I don't,

like ashes are good for the table.

Is that why you keep dropping them

on there?

Did you move the ashtray?

- It's right here. What, are you blind?

- Yes.

- What do you mean, "Yes"?

- I mean, yes, I'm blind.

Oh, you're putting me on. Don't do that.

No, I'm blind. I've always been blind.

You mean, really blind?

Not just nearsighted?

The works. I can't see a thing.

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