But I'm a Cheerleader Page #2

and long,

beautiful legs,

or perhaps

she's in the bathroom,

putting lipstick

over her full lips...

or maybe in the locker room,

soaping her body...

rubbing her breasts...

you don't have any

unnatural thoughts?

I don't think it's unnatural.

Ah-ha! You see?

You don't even think it's wrong.

Until you admit your sickness,

you will wear these.

You will earn the right

to wear civvies

once you have admitted

the first step.

It's a long path

to righteousness, Megan.

And it's a battlefield

of temptation out there,

and you're going

to have to fight.

Until then,

I'd like you to meet

one of our other soldiers.

Hilary.

Megan, this is Hilary.

She will show you around.

And, well, you'll get acquainted.

Okay.

Rise and shine at 7:00.

Breakfast at 8:
00,

Group therapy until lunch.

Now in the afternoon

we have free time to do,

you know, whatever,

and then we move inside

for reorientating exercises.

Family therapy on the weekends.

You didn't miss much, really.

Oh.

This is where we sleep.

But there's no inappropriate

behavior allowed.

Inappropriate?

Like swearing?

No. Inappropriate like f***ing.

Oh.

You get caught

in the throes of sodomy,

and au revoir.

Never mind Graham,

she's a spoiled brat.

I read her chart.

Step one was easy,

admitting you're a homosexual.

See, we all passed yesterday.

I'm a homosexual.

See how easy it is?

Megan, meet the rest of our group.

Hi, Megan.

I'm Jan,

and I'm a softball player,

and I'm a homosexual.

I'm Sinead.

I like pain.

I'm a homosexual.

I'm Joel.

I'm a Jew.

And a...

ho...

homosexual.

- We met.

- Graham.

I'm Graham, and I like girls,

a lot.

I'm a homosexual.

Andre.

Actor. Dancer.

Homosexual.

Dolph. Homosexual.

Varsity wrestler.

How you doin'?

Hi. I'm Clayton Dunn.

I work in retail,

and I'm a homosexual.

It's time for your first disclosure.

Now don't be intimidated.

Why don't you start by telling us

about the first time that you realized

that you might be a lesbian?

I'm not.

Everyone just thinks I am.

I shouldn't even be here.

That's a perfectly

normal place to start.

Why don't we discuss

the issues in your intervention?

I'm a vegetarian.

All:
Mm-hmm.

I have pictures of women around.

- You think that's normal?

- Sure.

I never really thought about it.

Have you ever had a boyfriend?

Yes. For two years

we've been going steady.

I really love him.

He's smart and popular.

He's got the biggest dick

I've never seen.

Well, um...

have you ever had sex with him?

I'm a Christian.

It's really easy to be a prude

when you're not attracted to him, isn't it?

He's very handsome.

But does he make you hot?

Do you think of him

at night when you...

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