Burn After Reading Page #3
- Uh-huh. Okay.
- In the gut area. Deriere, not so much.
And what about the face, you know,
the window to the soul.
Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Very well put.
Well, your eyes are one
of your best features.
But we can do something about
the incipient crow's feet.
Baby crow's feet. Little chickling's feet.
I mean chicks. Chickie chickie chickie.
Ha-ha, yes, again, well put.
You have a way with words.
We make a small incision
and then pull the skin tight,
like stretching the skin over a drum,
not too tight, though.
We don't want that "worked-on look."
You need sufficiant slack
for the face to remain expressive.
Yeah.
I don't want to look like Boris Karloff.
- So you don't want a sex change!
- No. I'm all woman!
So Linda, what we're talking about here
is four different procedures.
The liposuction, the rhinoplasty,
the facial tuck,
which I would strongly recomend
over the chemical peel---
Yeah, I don't want to
burn anything off.
Why should you. With that lovely skin?
And lastly the breast augmentation.
Now, we can also do something
about that vaccine scar---
I don't know if you wear
sleeveless dresses much---
- Not with these ham hocks!
- Yes, well.
Once they're nice and svelte, post-op,
you may change your mind about that.
I wanna talk about the vaccine thing.
I mean can you counsel me on this?
I mean is it really that unsightly?
I see it a lot, a bunch of people have them.
Absolutely! Some women don't mind it.
It's a personal taste.
H A R D B O D I E S
FITNESS CENTERS:
f i t n e s s o f f i c e
Chad!
Exhale. Deep breath. Exhale.
- Hold it. Hold and release.
- Chad!
And release.
- Ow!
- Too much?
I just felt a straining...
a tightness in the front of my ass.
Well you are pretty tight down there.
You have...
Something snapped in my ass!
Chad Feldheimer to the office,
please.
I'll check on my office, I'll be right back
and we'll do work on opening those hips.
I just got a batch from "bewithmedc.com"
- Oh no! Anything good?
- I don't know, I'm just looking.
- How do I open..?
- Click on that... Click on that...
Omygod! Okay, loser.
Loser. Loser!
They should call this "mr.loser.com"
- Did you have to send a picture?
- No, only the guys do.
I had to fill a verbal profile.
What turns-me-on, what turns-me-off...
with the sense of humor.
That guy---wait---that guy wasn't bad.
- Him?
- No, before.
- Him?
- Yeah, he might not be a loser.
- How can you tell?
- That's a Brioni suit.
- Oh, yeah?
- Sh*t yeah!
Does he look like he would
have a sense of humor?
Looks like his optometrist
has a sense of humor.
- What is he do?
- State department.
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"Burn After Reading" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/burn_after_reading_4839>.
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