Burn After Reading Page #3

Synopsis: Osbourne Cox, a Balkan expert, resigned from the CIA because of a drinking problem, so he begins a memoir. His wife wants a divorce and expects her lover, Harry, a philandering State Department marshal, to leave his wife. A CD-ROM falls out of a gym bag at a Georgetown fitness center. Two employees there try to turn it into cash: Linda, who wants money for cosmetic surgery, and Chad, an amiable goof. Information on the disc leads them to Osbourne who rejects their sales pitch; then they visit the Russian embassy. To sweeten the pot, they decide they need more of Osbourne's secrets. Meanwhile, Linda's boss likes her, and Harry's wife leaves for a book tour. All roads lead to Osbourne's house.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Drama
Director(s): Ethan Coen, Joel Coen
Production: Focus Features
  Nominated for 2 Golden Globes. Another 5 wins & 27 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.0
Metacritic:
63
Rotten Tomatoes:
79%
R
Year:
2008
96 min
$60,338,891
Website
1,013 Views


- Uh-huh. Okay.

- In the gut area. Deriere, not so much.

And what about the face, you know,

the window to the soul.

Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Very well put.

Well, your eyes are one

of your best features.

But we can do something about

the incipient crow's feet.

Baby crow's feet. Little chickling's feet.

I mean chicks. Chickie chickie chickie.

Ha-ha, yes, again, well put.

You have a way with words.

We make a small incision

and then pull the skin tight,

like stretching the skin over a drum,

not too tight, though.

We don't want that "worked-on look."

You need sufficiant slack

for the face to remain expressive.

Yeah.

I don't want to look like Boris Karloff.

- So you don't want a sex change!

- No. I'm all woman!

So Linda, what we're talking about here

is four different procedures.

The liposuction, the rhinoplasty,

the facial tuck,

which I would strongly recomend

over the chemical peel---

Yeah, I don't want to

burn anything off.

Why should you. With that lovely skin?

And lastly the breast augmentation.

Now, we can also do something

about that vaccine scar---

I don't know if you wear

sleeveless dresses much---

- Not with these ham hocks!

- Yes, well.

Once they're nice and svelte, post-op,

you may change your mind about that.

I wanna talk about the vaccine thing.

I mean can you counsel me on this?

I mean is it really that unsightly?

I see it a lot, a bunch of people have them.

Absolutely! Some women don't mind it.

It's a personal taste.

H A R D B O D I E S

FITNESS CENTERS:

f i t n e s s o f f i c e

Chad!

Exhale. Deep breath. Exhale.

- Hold it. Hold and release.

- Chad!

And release.

- Ow!

- Too much?

I just felt a straining...

a tightness in the front of my ass.

Well you are pretty tight down there.

You have...

Something snapped in my ass!

Chad Feldheimer to the office,

please.

I'll check on my office, I'll be right back

and we'll do work on opening those hips.

I just got a batch from "bewithmedc.com"

- Oh no! Anything good?

- I don't know, I'm just looking.

- How do I open..?

- Click on that... Click on that...

Omygod! Okay, loser.

Loser. Loser!

They should call this "mr.loser.com"

- Did you have to send a picture?

- No, only the guys do.

I had to fill a verbal profile.

What turns-me-on, what turns-me-off...

I'm really looking for a guy

with the sense of humor.

That guy---wait---that guy wasn't bad.

- Him?

- No, before.

- Him?

- Yeah, he might not be a loser.

- How can you tell?

- That's a Brioni suit.

- Oh, yeah?

- Sh*t yeah!

Does he look like he would

have a sense of humor?

Looks like his optometrist

has a sense of humor.

- What is he do?

- State department.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Joel Coen

Joel Coen was born on November 29, 1954 in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA as Joel Daniel Coen. He is a producer and writer, known for No Country for Old Men (2007), The Big Lebowski (1998) and Fargo (1996). He has been married to Frances McDormand since April 1, 1984. They have one child. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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