Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star Page #2

the Yahtzee.

So you finished the movie already?

I bet acting is fun.

But it's gotta be weird

having a camera pointed at you...

...don't you think, Pop?

Probably not that weird.

I bet you couldn't do it.

Oh, I bet you I could.

I bet you couldn't...

...if you're nude!

Jim Spraysium and Rosie Bush!

How'd you know about that?

I saw it.

I didn't even know

you were a farmer, Pop.

We were gonna tell you

on your 50th birthday...

...but I guess

you stumbled on it early.

- You made all of these?

- Sure did.

- Eighty-six, to be exact.

- Jeez. I mean....

How the heck did you get into it?

Well...

...one day, your mother says,

"I wanna see the ocean."

Sol rented a van and, well,

we went out there to California.

Anyway, we're taking a walk

on the beach.

So we threw down a beach towel...

...and we start a pretty mean session

of kissy-face.

And then, out of nowhere,

an older gentleman comes up...

...and says

we look good smooching.

And he said he made movies

about people doing the stuff...

- ...that we were doing.

- Yeah...

...and he said that we had

a natural look and technique.

He said it was our destiny.

When someone says

it's your destiny, you listen up.

Old Mrs. Bozobop said

I had a destiny earlier.

Well, sure you do.

Everybody does, Bucky.

Yeah, but this is it.

What's it?

This is why I was fired.

This is my destiny.

I was born to be a star.

Oh, I don't know about that, Bucky.

I mean, it's not an easy life.

It's filled with long days

and lots of chafing.

I ain't afraid of chafing.

I ain't afraid of nothing.

I'm gonna go to California and I'm

gonna be a star on the silver screen.

I'm the son of two movie stars.

That's like a super-duper

movie star.

- Buck!

- No. Let him go, dear.

I love you so much. I'm gonna call you

right when I get there, I promise.

- You better.

- All right.

- All right, son.

- Bye.

There goes our boy, Jeremiah.

Give them heck, son!

No way.

Pop.

- Take care.

- Be safe, Bucky.

Bye, Piggies.

Hey, how are you?

We don't sell kiddie porn, man.

Oh, I'm allergic to cats.

Self-service, pal. Don't see

what you want, just do some laps...

- ...until something gives you a boner.

- No, I don't wanna buy a movie.

I wanna be in one. Let's go.

We just sell the porn.

If you wanna make it,

you have to go to the Valley.

No way.

Is that far?

We just-- The bus went through

a valley in Colorado. Was that it?

- Did I miss it?

- No.

Just go over the hill.

Take Laurel Canyon.

All right, good. Thanks.

How are you doing?

All right. It's hot out.

Fart in my mouth! Fart in my mouth!

Fart in my mouth! Fart in my mouth!

Hi, how are you?

Yeah, good day.

Yeah, good day to you. All right.

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