Bubba Ho-Tep Page #3

Yeah. I followed a sound.

I heard something. It was like a...

I don't know. Like a... like a scuttling.

- A scuttling sound?

- Yes, sir.

Were you awake or were you in bed

when you heard this noise?

I was in bed first, then I was awake

co the damn bugs woke me up.

You got bugs all over this place.

Bugs. Well, Mr Haff, what kind of bugs

have you been seeing?

Do I look like an icky-ologist to you?

Big damn bugs. The size of my fist,

of a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

What do I care?

I got a growth on my pecker.

OK, Mr Haff. Don't worry about a thing.

We'll call the exterminator tomorrow

and take care of it.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

It's time for that little thing again.

'A doll like this handling me

without warmth or emotion.

'20 years ago - just 20, man -

'I could have made with the curly-lipped

smile and had her eating outta my a**hole.'

Doctor says this cream

ought to do the trick.

Corticosteroids.

Should heal the inflammation. Stop the pus.

'Where did my youth go?

'Why didn't fame

hold off old age and death?

'Why the hell did I leave the fame?

'Do I want it back

and could I have it, and if I could,

'would it make any damn difference? '

Mr Haff!

Huh?

'Lord almighty.'

You old rascal.

I think you'd better

take a cold shower, Mr Haff.

'There had been two presidential

elections since I had a boner like that one.

'What gave here?

Then I realised what gave.

'I was thinking about something

that interested me -

'not my next meal or going to the crapper.

'I'd been given a dose of life again.'

You get in there with me,

I'll take a shower.

You silly thing.

Come on, now.

Why don't you pull on it a little?

You ought to be ashamed.

Whe-he. Whe-he.

It's an ambush.

Under the bridge.

I saw him under the bridge.

It's an ambush! Tonto. My boots, Tonto.

'That's my friend, Kemosabe.

We used to play cards together.

- My boots!

- 'Now he doesn't know who I am.'

Daddy.

Baby?

- Sebastian. Sebastian. It's loose.

- What's loose?

Lt. Listen.

Jesus Christ. What's that?

I thought it was Lyndon Johnson,

but I was wrong.

I've come across new evidence

to suggest another assassin.

Assassin?

He's after another target tonight.

Come on, I want to show you something.

I don't think it's safe to go to sleep.

For Christ's sake. Tell the administrators.

Suits and white starches?

No, thank you!

I trusted them in Dallas and look

where that got my brain and me.

I'm thinking with sand here.

I pick up some waves maybe

from my brain,

but someday, somebody might just

disconnect the battery at the White House.

Oh, yeah. That's something

to worry about, all right.

Listen here. Listen. I know you're Elvis.

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