Broadway Danny Rose Page #2

Cos I don't see you just folding

these balloons in joints.

You listen to me, you're gonna fold

these balloons at universities.

You're gonna make your snail

and your elephant on Broadway.

But the thing to remember is

before you go out on stage...

...you gotta look in the mirror

and you gotta say your three S's:

Star, smile, strong.

Star, smile, strong.

- Danny used to be a performer.

- He was a comic.

He worked the Catskills. He did all

the old jokes and stole from everybody.

He was the kind of comic

you'd think he'd be.

God bless you, darling. Let me ask you

a question, sweetheart. How old are you?

- 81.

- 81 years old. Isn't that fantastic?

No, really. She's 81.

It's fantastic. I mean that.

Unbelievable. You don't look

a day over 80. No, I mean it.

I'm just kiddin'. I love you.

You're really beautiful.

What sign are you, darling?

- What?

- She says "What?" She's great.

But I drove up here today. I love driving.

You run across so many interesting

people. I saw a terrible accident.

Two taxi cabs collided.

30 Scotchmen were killed.

He stopped doing his act because

he was working the Catskill Mountains.

Nobody in the audience

is under 80 years old.

He's on stage, doing his act,

two people get heart attacks.

So naturally

he became a personal manager.

You can't do a good act,

you become a personal manager.

But his acts were so devoted.

They loved him.

Where you gonna find

that kind of devotion today?

The funniest Danny Rose story is the time

he's handling a hypnotist. A hypnotist.

He's got the guy working

the Catskill Mountains.

The hypnotist brings up this

Jewish lady and hypnotises her.

Tessie! Tessie!

- The body is warm. It's a good sign.

- Yes, that's a good sign.

Tessie! Tessie!

I promise you, if your wife

never wakes up again...

...I will take you to

any restaurant of your choice, OK?

Do you like Chinese food?

All right, you finished? Excuse me.

Hold it, hold it. Are you finished?

Are you finished? Because I have

the greatest Danny Rose story.

Hold it now. Are you finished?

I have the greatest

Danny Rose story, all right?

You wanna do anything?

This is gonna take some time.

- Can I call home?

- Go ahead.

- Coffee.

- Are you ready?

We're gonna be here a while.

This is the greatest Danny Rose story.

- This is the one with Lou Canova.

- The tall guy, the singer? The Italian kid?

He was the kid that had

those semi-hit records?

He had a record, I think, called "Agita".

It was on the charts for about 15 minutes.

This is not during those 15 minutes.

This is 25 years later.

And Lou cannot get anybody

to handle him. The man's in trouble.

And the only one who

believes in him is Danny Rose.

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