Branded Page #3

and your incredible work...

this big beautiful country is now

almost a democracy.

Okay, so look, Abby.

Why aren't you just producing

this reality show yourself?

Why do you think?

'Cause I don't have the money!

ow much does it cost?

Like $750,000.

What's with your air conditioning

system, anyway?

This is like a brand-new car!

What's she doing?

What are you doing?

Same as everybody else.

This suit is murder.

You mind looking out the window?

But then that girl will think I'm staring at her.

Doesn't matter, you Russian men

are all supposed to be pigs, anyway.

But the way the Russian women

go around here,

like prima ballerinas in skin-tight clothing,

honest, regular American girl

doesn't stand a chance.

There, all done.

What would you say

to doing the show with me?

We are called xtreme Cosmetics.

And this is a real story about a real girl.

Well, she's what you call overweight,

but she's unusually charming.

And that's where the miracle happens.

This fat cow gets transformed

into a beautiful fawn,

and she becomes a national superstar.

And for that,

we need nationwide casting search.

I think the real problem isn't the casting,

it's finding the director.

Yes, and the best one is Schwartz,

Roman Schwartz.

Astra Productions.

So what you're saying is

that Schwartz is your guy?

That's what I'm telling you.

Will you excuse me for a second?

Mechislava,

please allow me to introduce

the lead director in our new company,

my friend Roman Schwartz.

- How do you do?

- Nice to meet you.

Take a look.

ere is the world's first marketing.

What are you talking about?

I mean it was Lenin

who invented marketing in 1918.

e found an absolutely unique way

to sell people the idea

of Soviet communism.

The factories to the workers,

land to the peasants,

peace to the soldiers.

e made the product promise one thing:

appiness.

And that's marketing.

Lenin hired just simply the best designers

and copywriters.

Rodchenko...

No, that's not Rodchenko.

But, here, Mayakovsky.

The brand's official color: Red.

The logo:
The five-pointed star.

Once they'd established the super brand,

they designed campaigns

for all the product lines to carry.

So, chocolates for Red October,

perfumes, Red Moscow...

And the GB?

The GB came later,

like a sort of brand police.

See, it's the dream of every brand

to make the competition's products illegal.

That's exactly what they did.

Tragically, they had really shitty

production, so...

the product failed to live up to its promise,

and consumers fell out of love

with the Soviet Union.

"Dear Mr. Mayakovsky,"

"it would be our pleasure to invite you

to the United States..."

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