Born Yesterday Page #2

- Not everybody.

- Enough.

You can't hurt me. All you can do

is build me up or shut up.

Hey, Eddie.

Have a drink.

No, thanks, really.

Do what I'm tellin' ya!

Who pays ya around here?

When we're home

he shaves me every day.

- I got my own barber chair. Right?

- That's right.

I thought you wanted

to interview me.

Where were you born?

Jersey.

Plainfield, New Jersey, 1907.

I went to work when I was 12 years old.

I been workin' ever since.

I'll tell you,

my first job was a paper route.

I bought another kid out

with a swift kick in the keister.

- And you've been workin' ever since.

- Yeah.

I'm top man in my racket.

Been in it over 25 years, same racket.

- Steel.

- Junk.

Not steel, junk.

Don't butter me up. I'm a junk man.

I ain't ashamed to admit it.

Let me give you

a little advice, sonny boy.

Never bull a bull artist.

I can sling it with the best of 'em.

- For 25 years, you say?

- Yeah.

I tell ya,

I'm a kid with a paper route.

I got this wagon, and goin' home nights

I go through alleys pickin' up junk.

I'm not the only one.

The other kids are doing it too.

Only difference is, they keep it.

Not me. I sell it.

First thing you know, I'm makin' eight

bucks from junk and three from papers.

I can see which is the right racket.

I'm just a kid, but I can see that.

Pretty soon the guy I'm selling to

is handing me 15-20 a week.

Then he turns around

and offers me a job for ten. Dumb jerk.

I'd be selling him his own stuff back,

and he never knew.

- How do you mean?

- Look. Look.

In the night I'm under the fence,

I drag it out, I load it up.

In the morning

I go in the front way and collect.

- Twelve years old, you were.

- Yeah, something like that.

- Pretty soon you own the whole yard.

- Right.

This guy, the jerk,

he works for me now.

You know who else works for me?

The kid whose paper route I swiped.

I figure I owe him.

That's the way I am.

Pretty good years for the junk business,

the last few.

- I ain't kickin'.

- Do you anticipate any decline now?

- Talk plain, pal.

- Is it still going to be good?

- We'll make it good.

- Who's we?

- "We" is me, that's who.

- I see.

- Fancy talk don't go with me.

- Come right in.

- Good evening.

- Hello.

- I'll get out of your way.

- No, don't go. I like ya.

Stick around, play your cards right,

I'll put you on the payroll.

Once over light and no talk. Just brush

'em up. I get a manicure every day.

Over there someplace.

Okay, fella, go ahead, go ahead.

I've been wondering

what you're doing in Washington.

What are you, some wonder boy?

- Not so tight.

- Sorry, sir.

Sightseein'.

That's what I'm doin' in Washington.

Some talk you may be around a long time,

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