Born Romantic Page #2

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There is a theory that it's just smell.

You're unconsciously drawn

to someone else 'cause of their smell.

It registers in your subconscious.

So, I'm just waiting for the right smell?

I know. It's just a theory.

Do you want to come up,

have a drink? Whatever.

- Whatever?

- Okay, a shag then.

Married.

What she doesn't know won't hurt her.

It'll hurt me.

- Are you in?

- Will you piss off, Frankie?

Think I'm made of money?

There's radiators on all over the place.

Will you close the f***ing door?

All right, pal?

Mo Docherty!

What are you doing, Fergus?

There are other ways of getting in touch.

Come inside. You need some sleep.

Loved Ones, Ltd., how can I help?

That doesn't happen to be the sexy dance

teacher from the salsa club by any chance?

Sorry, who's this?

This is the extra man from last night.

I just wanted to tell you that you dance

the sexiest salsa I've ever seen.

Well, thanks.

I'm not that good, but thanks very much.

I'm new to it actually.

Could've fooled me.

Listen, I found a purse outside the club...

...I think it may belong to you.

My purse! You found my purse?

That's fantastlc, thank you.

Any chance we can meet up

and I'll give you it back?

That would be great.

Thanks. When?

Kitchen's mine between 8:00 and 9:00.

I need an espresso, honey.

And my bedroom's off limits.

We both have to live here

until we sell the place, okay?

We'll never sell it, it's sinking. It's f***ed.

Now a broad with any class

would never use that type of language.

Abroad's where you go on holiday.

- Why don't you move in with the mook?

- So now he's a mook?

Last week he was a putz.

Why don't you move out?

- This is my house.

- It's my house, too.

- He's got his own place.

- So have I.

That's just fine then.

So will you get out of the kitchen?

I'm having a cup of coffee, so piss off!

We used to be married and happy.

I didn't get us here.

It's not my fault!

Would you say, knowing me as you do,

that I had a fear of intimacy?

Who said that? Her with the big chin

from Gypsy Hill again?

I don't have a problem with intimacy.

Let me explain something to you

about women.

They're a wonderful dichotomy.

For instance:
blowj*bs.

What's that all about?

What pleasure

does a woman get out of that?

- What?

- Do you think they really enjoy it?

De-cheesing a meat and two veg.

To tell you the truth,

I've never thought about it.

I have. I've thought about it a lot.

They don't. How could they?

It's not a thing of beauty, let's face it.

So when a woman says to you:

"What a beautiful cock," she's lying.

Who's she lying to? Herself.

Maybe you do have a beautiful cock.

I can't say.

I suspect it looks like mine and I know

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