Boo 2! A Madea Halloween Page #2

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Wrap me up in weed paper and cremate me.

I'mma get the whole damn funeral jacked up.

[LAUGHING]

[HATTIE] Oh, look at my baby.

Baby, you don't...

You don't look good at all.

No, he don't. What is it, boy?

- [BAM] Hattie.

- Hmm?

It's you. You the reason why he's not happy.

Bam, slow your roll. Slow your roll.

Brian is into me.

Got me? Brian loves me.

Don't you, boo?

Come on over here,

and let me make you feel good.

[MADEA] Hush all that.

Brian, what is wrong with you?

Nothing, nothing. I'm fine.

You don't look fine.

Speak up before I hit you in the nut

like I did when you was a little boy.

What is wrong with you?

Yeah. I'm fine. Is everybody here? I'm fine.

Well, just come on over here

and let me give you a hug, Brian.

I'll pass.

Okay, go ahead. Act like that, Brian.

You gonna wish you had

let me make you feel good.

[SIGHS]

[BLOWS KISS]

- Mmm.

- Damn.

Your breath came out your mouth

ass-backwards.

It was breech.

What the hell is that?

Joe, you smell it too?

I'm sitting right here by her.

Hell, that damn thing came over here,

walked past me like, "I'm funky."

Oh, y'all shut the hell up.

Girl, that breath smell like

it's been in the Civil War.

Girl, you need to just

bottle that up and sell it.

That cleared up all my sinuses.

Anytime somebody got breath

like that, honey, that bad,

something is going on inside.

That ain't just your teeth.

That's her esophagus.

It's down, way down there,

below her belly button.

No, Bam, it's comin' lower

than her esophagus.

That's comin' from down low.

Y'all shut the hell up. You shut up, Joe.

I know damn well you ain't talkin' to me.

I know when my breath smell.

If my breath smell bad, it's 'cause

of what I've been eating. Hello?

Joe, cut it out.

Where's Tiffany, boy?

I thought you went to get her.

Well, I did. I went to get her.

And her mother and her husband were there,

and they bought her a car.

[JOE] They bought a car?

A real one?

Wait, hold on. They gave her a car for free?

She didn't have to work for it?

That's... You see,

that's exactly what I'm saying.

Exactly what I'm saying.

Oh, hell no, honey. No.

Do you know how much work I had to do

to get my first car?

Oh, I had to walk up and down them streets.

My heels was run over just like this

'cause I was walkin' and workin' them

streets so hard.

Oh, that's not what I'm saying.

That is not what I'm saying.

No, no. They say...

They say like people's pets

start to look like them...

I'mma tell you right now,

if you give up too much ass,

your ass start to look like

whatever you gave it up for.

That's why this ass look like

a Buick Electra 225.

You see that sh*t, right there?

That's gonna make me throw up.

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