Bon Cop, Bad Cop Page #2

- Yes, but in between

those 10 minutes

there's always the job,

women, the job,

your pals, hockey,

the job...

(Hockey anthem phone ring)

The phone.

- Bouchard.

Yeah?

No, come on, it's my day off.

- See what I mean?

- All right, all right.

I'm on my way.

I have to go.

But let's talk about this again

real soon.

- Say, when Gabrielle

goes to university?

- Is it that urgent?

- Don't forget

your daughter's ballet recital.

- Honestly!

Do you actually think

I'd forget something like that?

Suzie?

- Huh?

- When is it?

- At 4:
00.

How do you expect me

to find another man?

It's hard enough having one child,

let alone two.

- Don't say that.

You'll find somebody.

Come on,

you've still got great tits.

- Run along now,

go play cops and robbers,

your little pals are waiting.

- Jesus Christ, who's the idiot

that had the road blocked?!

It took me two hours

to get to my own crime scene!

For you,

today I am DETECTIVE Dave!

- Martin Ward.

- David Bouchard.

- Enchante.

- Enchantay!

Hey, we got somebody

that can spick de French.

(laughter)

I guess he's the victim?

- We can't classify him

as a victim yet,

but we can say he's had

a bit of a rough night.

Not much blood, though.

- Well, it's been fun.

Good luck, guys.

- Hey, where you going?

- Back home.

This is obviously your case.

- What do you mean, our case?

It's very clearly your case!

- How do you figure that?

His feet are on your side.

- Exactly. His head is on your side.

What's your point?

- My point?

If you play football

or tennis or whatever,

you step over the line, you're out.

Okay, boys. We're out of here.

- May I remind you

that in the 100-yard-dash,

it's the head and chest

that break the tape.

In horse racing, it's by a nose.

As you can see,

the subject was a true Quebecer.

- Do I need a passport?

- His heart is in Quebec.

And he's got Ontario

up his ass.

- Excuse me?

- I just said

his ass belongs to you.

- Okay.

We'll take it from here.

Get me a ladder.

- A ladder!

- Whoa!

Don't move him.

- How can I?

He's indented in the sign.

- Never mind.

Let's just get this over with.

- What's this?

- Be careful not to move anything.

Ah!

- Ah!

- Careful!

- Ah, sh*t.

- Ah!

Idiot!

(creaking)

Ahhhh!

Argh...

(groaning)

Good morning.

- Hey, nice turtleneck.

It's really you.

What the f***

is squarehead doing here?

- David, you know Martin,

of course,

and this is his boss,

Brian MacDuff from the OPP.

- Pleasure to meet you.

- Yeah, I'm sure. You wanna tell me

why the hell I'm here this early?

- You wanna talk, Brian?

- No, no. It's yourjurisdiction.

- No, no, no, I insist.

- Okay.

We know that the victim

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